


The Heart Remembers

by GoldenWolf



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Family, First time writing, Friendship, Kind Of Graphic Violence?, M/M, Romance, Sibling Love, not sure how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenWolf/pseuds/GoldenWolf
Summary: Time flies. Memories fade. But Love will last forever. No matter what happens, the heart remembers.





	1. Prologue

* * *

_Winter is coming._ Those are the words that the Starks live by. It was meant to be a warning and for constant vigilance. Despite being a summer child, Margaery Tyrell was never bothered by it. Sure she never really fancied the cold and winter yet she loved it all the same. It has its own charms.

All the more she loved it when Sansa Stark came in to her life. The cold never concerned her because her red wolf kept her warm. They were each other's warmth after all.

 

She hugged her fur coat closer to her body as she stood by the heart tree. The snow is steadily falling from the night sky. The wind is chilly and the atmosphere in the godswood is more solemn than usual. She's experienced winter here in Winterfell many times but this is definitely the first time that she felt the cold unbearable. The coldness is deep inside her heart. The emptiness and loneliness made her shiver and cry uncontrollably.

 

She should've taken heed of the Stark warning. But how can she do it if even the Starks themselves didn't saw it coming? She laughed hysterically. She never really understood its deep meaning until now. _Winter has come._ Yes. It came to them harsh and unforgiving. A winter where nothing is the same. A winter where the Starks were broken. A winter without the love of her life. _Winter has indeed come._ A winter without Sansa has come.


	2. Chapter 2

Margaery

The winds of winter still linger in the air despite the arrival of spring. The sky is shining with thousands of stars and the fragrance of blooming flowers dominates the air. It is a one fine evening in Highgarden and the chattering of guests can be heard in the distance.

Margaery took a deep breath and sat at the bench in the middle of the garden. She checked her surroundings and is all alone since everyone is inside having a good time so she let herself loosen up. She looked up at the sky with a wistful expression on her face. It was her brother’s wedding today and she couldn't be any happier for him. She loves all of her brothers dearly but it is Loras who had always been closest to her. She was ecstatic when he and Renly announced their engagement 6 months ago. They both deserved to be happy. She personally helped them prepare for the wedding and made sure everything went smoothly. She was more than satisfied that everyone is having a good time especially the newlyweds, and decided to temporarily ditch the reception to take a breather in the gardens.

“You would’ve loved everything, my love." she mused. It is times like this that makes her want to lock herself in her room for days and cry her heart out.

She misses her terribly. Everyday. She misses her long auburn hair, her deep blue eyes that will make you lose yourself in their depths, her sweet scent, her adorable blushes, her kissable and soft lips, her warmth and just everything about her.

She initially thought that time may numb her pain. They said that time heals all wounds and she desperately hoped that there was some truth to that. It was a lie. A complete lie. A complete bullshit. It's been 2 years yet the pain didn't diminished or even lessen at all. In fact, the longing in her heart worsen.

  
After making sure that all the people responsible for her loss suffered and faced consequences, was when the time that she finally surrendered to her pain and grief. She locked herself to their apartment for a month and after she cried her eyes out that there were no tears left, she moved on. She's Margaery Tyrell after all. Nothing fazes her even half of her heart and soul has been cruelly ripped away from her. She continued to live trying to get back on her feet and tried hard for everything to return to normal. She returned on being her usual bubbly self, socializing with friends, being flirty and all that but it was all for naught. The old gods and the new know how hard she tried but it was never the same. It will never be the same.

"The wedding vows were phenomenal, don't you think? It was so raw, genuine and full of love that everyone was tearing up. If it weren't for my exceptional composure I would've bawled my eyes out right there in the sept." she giggled. She traced her necklace delicately with her fingertips. It has a white gold chain with a golden rose pendant with diamond studs that formed a wolf's face in the middle of it. It will always be her favorite.

  
"You've seen everything, didn't you? I bet you even influenced me in some ways in bugging Loras and Renly about some of the decisions regarding the details of the wedding. I guess you convinced them too since they were pretty receptive to my ideas saying that it was romantic." she chuckled. "You've always been the romantic one after all." she smiled fondly.

The stars are twinkling beautifully in the dark sky and a breeze made the fragrance of the flowers around her more prominent. _"_ I wish you were here." she whispers and closed her eyes as a tear slipped on her cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

Arya

The party is in full swing. Or the reception since it's a freaking wedding. Arya is helping herself on her 2nd slice of cake and was looking around. The atmosphere is certainly festive but at the same time romantic. It is an unsurprisingly extravagant event held in the luxurious Tyrell villa.

 _"The Tyrells certainly know how to throw one what with their wealth."_ she thought. She caught sight of the newlyweds talking to Brienne. Their hands are intertwined and they were absolutely glowing. She's never been a fan of romantic stuffs but she grudgingly admitted to herself that she's melting at the sight of them and even accidentally teared up during the ceremony. Good thing no one noticed it since everyone was very much focused on the couple. She's known Loras and Renly for years and witnessed how much they love and fight for each other despite the odds. She watched her mother and father slow dancing who had genuine smiles on their faces.

"It's been a while since I saw them smile like that." Robb spoke. She turned around and faced her eldest brother.

"It suits them better." she said softly. She started to walk back in their table bringing the cake with her while Robb followed her. They chatted with the rest of their siblings and cousin and were goofing around in their table. It's almost like everything is back to the way it used to be but she knows it's not. Everyone knows it's not.

The ghost of someone missing continues to haunt them and will probably haunt them for the rest of their lives. There is a lingering sadness and pain deep in their hearts and she doubts it will ever fade away. It is especially noticeable on happy occasions like today. "Fuck you!" she screamed in her mind.

 

 

The car pulled up in the driveway of Stark manor.  Being back in Winterfell certainly influences an array of emotions within her. She stepped out of the car and walked with her mother inside the house while her brothers and father collected their luggages to bring inside the house. She glanced at her mother admiringly. Catelyn Stark is certainly an ethereal beauty with her auburn hair and deep blue eyes that is the most distinct features of the Tully family. The rest of her siblings got her features but it was Robb and HER who looked so much like their mother. Arya is too much on the Stark side along with their cousin, Jon.

"Would you like to eat something?" her mother asked.

"Maybe later. I would prefer to rest first. Its quite a long trip." she answered. Her mother hummed before hugging her and walked to the kitchens probably to help their servants on preparing the food for the famished members of their family. Nothing changed much from the 8 months ago that she was here.  It has always been the same castle-like manor with the direwolf tapestries that she grew up with and yet everything felt different ever since that damning day. The whole manor felt sullen along the people living there that made her resolve to leave for Braavos 8 months ago. It was always her dream to go there because the training academy there was topnotch on being a competent fighter but her main reason at that time was to run away from home. To run away from grief. She resolved in leaving even her mother pleaded miserably to her. She was selfish. She tried to keep it together with them for as long as she could but she can't bring herself to be with the family any longer after everything has changed. They are still a family and continued to support and love each other but the sorrow is too much for her to bear. Her father only smiled sadly at her at that time and understood. She called them everyday to make up from leaving and so as not to miss them too much. It somehow calmed her mother to hear her voice everyday since she has been more fearful than usual and more protective of her children ever since the tragedy.

 

She walked in to the living room and stopped dead in her tracks. In the corner of the room was several photos of the family through the years. It wasn't a new sight really but a portrait of a young gorgeous red-headed girl with a sweet smile on her face stole all her attention. "Fuck." she muttered. "Leave it to you to infuriate and mock me unintentionally. You can even manage to make me feel inferior even you are just a picture." she sighed exasperatedly. She immediately left right then and went straight to her room.

It seems like the gods are mocking her by welcoming her back home by showing that certain smiling face. She was actually in high spirits after spending their time in Highgarden and now it flew away outside the window in a blink of an eye.

The gods knew how much she hates HER. She resents HER too much that she even refuses to think about or mention HER name. She only acknowledges HER or SHE. She always hated HER. She always hated how perfect SHE was, how different they were and how that despite their differences they actually care and support each other and they just had a weird way of showing it. She hated that she wont be able to piss HER off again. She hated that SHE left a hole to everyone's heart after SHE was gone. She hated that SHE died without any warning. Truthfully, she hates HER because she loves HER.

Arya Stark concedes to the fact that she is very much messed up that she decided to hate HER because if she don't, she will fall apart.

 

 

 

Ygritte

"Seven hells!!! Run faster, you fucking morons!" she barked to her incompetent companions. They were running in a dark alley with the Night's Watch hot on their heels. They cant afford to be caught right now. After their brilliant plan of stealing jewelries at the Red Keep gone awry last night, her pride suffered greatly for another failure tonight. She cant afford to be caught by the pretentious Night's Watch.

But as she's running for her freedom at the moment, she's seriously contemplating what's the worse fate for her. As it is, they actually failed again on stealing in a bank. If they surrendered to the Night's Watch, they can retain their freedom by surrendering and volunteering to join a government program that will change their "barbaric ways" and be reformed citizens. They will be sent to The Wall to live and serve honorably as a special Night's Watch member assigned there.

 _"Screw that. Where is the freedom if we were shipped to a faraway place? Its another prison with a candy-coated name."_ she thought grimly. She is a free folk and no one will change that especially that righteous moron. But if they do manage to outrun their pursuers, she would've to face a certain bitch again with a smug look on her face and look at her like she's the most stupid person she's ever met. She huffed loudly and threw the stink bomb to their pursuers while her companions frantically cover their noses. The pretentious soldiers didn't see it coming and they simultaneously cough and sounds of disgust filled the air while she guffawed loudly and run for their safety.

 

As expected, the bitch certainly looked smug and looked at her with amusement.

"Someone got busted again." the bitch singsonged.

"You dyed your hair. Care to explain? I doubt you liked that color. You never fancy dyeing your hair. The only and last time I saw you with that color was the first time we met. You were even pretty ecstatic when the color faded immediately after a few days because it was a cheap product. You love your hair so much for you to defile it with another color again. Besides, in all honesty, even you are very lovely with your new look, you certainly looked best with your original hair color." she uttered. She looked at the now raven-haired girl with deep blue eyes sitting cross-legged on the chair across from her. The excited chattering of the rest of their companions outside the house can be heard faintly.

"Changing the topic, I see. But thank you for the compliment and to answer your question, I dyed it so I won't have the danger of being suspected as the idiotic wildling who tried to steal at the Red Keep and at a bank. They certainly saw you since you made sure of that and know your distinct feature is your fiery hair, which, I also have by the way. The Night's Watch would certainly look for every redheaded girl in the entire King's Landing to find you. I have no patience to deal with that."

Ygritte cocked her head to the side. The girl proved yet again that she don't just have a pretty face but a cunning mind too.

"You know, you can be a competent criminal if you really want to."

"I know, right? And you also said that to me many times that it makes me wonder if you want me to be a criminal. It certainly sounds like you are planting the idea to my mind." she smirks.

Ygritte snorted. "Puhlease! I was just wondering if perhaps you really are a criminal before or a successor of a mafia group or something. You are incredibly gorgeous, have disgustingly impeccable manners ingrained in you but suspiciously too cunning about this kind of things. Considering you still don't have your memories back, I can freely make any assumptions about your past."

"That's true. At least, being a redheaded epic fail wannabe criminal is out of the question for me." she grinned wickedly.

"Do shut up, Alayne."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ookay. I'm probably screwing this fic already. Lol. The idea was way more interesting in my head before than now. But well, I dunno if you guys will still like it but whatever. Happy reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Alayne

_The metallic scent of blood fills her senses. Maniacal laughter of someone was all she can hear with a shrilled scream of a girl begging for help and mercy. Sounds of screeching cars, deafening explosion and oxygen leaving her as she drowned. A hazy face of a man hovered her and threatened to slit her throat. And there was blood. Too much blood._

She woke up with a start sitting on her bed sweating profusely with her heart beating frantically in her chest. She clutched her head feeling like it will rip in two. She felt nauseous. She tried to breathe normally to calm herself and stayed like that to gather her bearings. She then went straight to the bathroom to freshen herself up.

She stared at her own reflection in the mirror with a blank expression on her face. She had a nightmare. Again. It always make her mood too dark and give off menacing aura for the rest of the day that even Ygritte makes sure to stay out of her way. Everyone is wary of it and makes sure to not piss her off further. When she stepped out of her room, everyone gave her an assessing look and scattered to give her space. Ygritte merely nodded at her. They didn't bothered to greet her a good morning since it's obvious as hell that there's nothing good in her morning. She skipped breakfast since her appetite is nowhere to be found. She walked aimlessly around the polluted city of King's Landing which proved to be a wretched move. It made her gloomier.

 

She felt alone. Lost. Well, she's always been lost as far as she can remember. Having no memory of your own past is too cruel. Some people may consider it as an opportunity to start over but those people don't know any better. Having no idea as basic as what your own name is, is not something to be considered as a blessing or an opportunity. It's a curse. Not knowing who you are, who to trust and what the actual fuck happened to you haunts you in every waking day of your miserable life. It's a living hell.

She was always grateful to the gods if they exist that she met the wildlings led by Ygritte. She was leading a very empty existence and on her way to a very dark path when they entered her life. She met them 3 months after her escape from the Eyrie. She had stick with them ever since for almost a year now. She had found company and friends with them. They made things a little better for her but even with their presence, she still felt horrible. They can never fill the missing pieces of her. They can never stop the recurring nightmares and panic attacks. They completely understood and even tried to help her as best as they can and they were very protective of her too. She supposed that she was still lucky.

 

She noticed a cluster of the Night's Watch in a corner and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. They were very much visible in the city after Ygritte's escapades. She really made the right decision on dyeing her hair. If one of them interrogates her when she's in a very foul mood such as today, she's pretty sure that she will end up in jail for assaulting an officer to a pulp.

 

When they arrived here in King's Landing 4 days ago, she had mixed feelings about it. The capital certainly has its charms but it is too polluted for her own liking. But for some reason, she felt like that she's meant to be here. Like she will finally find what she was looking for.

After spending their time at Pentos, they decided to move again for a change. The wildlings are known to move from city to city. They are self-proclaimed free folks after all. But in reality, they really are just a group of homeless people who found family with each other. Their group was also evidently small compared to others. They consisted only with maximum of 20 people while other groups have way larger numbers. Ygritte liked being different anyway and she's very choosy on who she includes in her group.

They spent their time at least 3 months at Pentos. She was so surprised when out of nowhere, Ygritte chose to sail for Westeros as their next destination. And she also chose King's Landing where everything is sinfully too expensive for them. Living in Essos and working in the Free Cities after all is a struggle and they barely saved enough money to survive a month without work. What are their chances in Westeros?

She also doesn't want to admit it but she was also terrified in returning. The last time she was in this country, she was deceived and had to poison someone to escape. She already had comrades who had her back now but the feeling of dread doesn't fade which is why she cooped up in their place for the last 3 days. Today was the only time that she finally had the guts to stroll the city. Well, her shitty mood played a big part too. She always knew that she will eventually return at Westeros to face her past but she still wasn't ready. She hasn’t recovered her memories yet.

There are occasional hazy glimpses of her past that she remembers but she wasn't sure if it was really a memory or a mere imagination. It was too hazy for it to have any significance anyway. The nightmares doesn't help too.

 

She continued walking without realizing that she's turned up in the Red Keep. This is her first time seeing it up close. She wondered her eyes to the grand castle-like establishment. It was massive. There were formidable Dothrakis and Unsullieds guarding the place especially the other half of the Red Keep where it is restricted since it is where the president resides. The other half is where the sinfully expensive and luxurious private apartments are, where only the nobles and filthy rich can afford.

She wandered her way around where it is permitted until she reached the gardens where it is open to the general public. She was instantly captivated by the sight. It was such a beauty that it made her wonder why there are hardly any people around. She walked her way further deep in to the gardens until she entered the godswood. It has mystical aura that she instantly liked. She walked further until she discovered her favorite spot in the world. She saw a weirwood tree surrounded by a variety of flowers overlooking the Blackwater Bay. She genuinely smiled at the sight. She carefully plucked a yellow red-tipped rose from the rose bushes before she sat under the shade of the weirwood tree and leaned against it. She didn't know why but she felt comforted by the place. She sniffed the rose and closed her eyes. She surprisingly felt so much better. She can't remember any instances of her feeling better when having a shitty day. She decided right then that she will spend her time in this place every day.

 

Margaery

She was sitting on the couch with Loras and regarding Jon Targaryen with amusement as he paces around the room looking like he wants to rip everything apart near the vicinity even his precious hair. He is a perfect picture of calmness normally and this is definitely the first time that she saw him like this. So..out of character.

He was so agitated after finding out what happened last night.

Apparently, a group of wildlings tried to rob a bank and managed to get away with the use of a stink bomb of all things. They were also the same group of wildlings who tried to burglarize the Red Keep.

"This is ridiculous! Inexperienced burglars outsmarted the well-trained members of the Night's Watch by using childish methods." he ranted.

"The wildlings literally just busted themselves by setting the alarms off here at the Red Keep and in the bank and yet they still managed to escape by using the same method on two consecutive incidents. They didn't manage to steal anything, yes, but the mockery that they did to the Night's Watch is damaging to our reputation. The people would find us incompetent because we can’t even capture a bunch of wildlings that just seemed bored and decided to burglarize for fun. That is very insulting! The failure would be mine to take responsibility for because I am the Lord Commander!" he face-palmed. "And a stink bomb? Seriously?!" he exploded.

Loras snorted and she covered her laugh with a cough. Jon suddenly stopped pacing and blushed furiously after remembering that he is not alone in the room.

"The guards on patrol last night reported that the leader of the group was a redheaded girl. It will be not that hard to find her because I doubt that there are a lot of redheads around here that is up to some mischief. Those wildlings obviously just arrived here in King's Landing and we can start by looking at the new faces around. Besides, I don't think that they are that dangerous judging from what they did so far. The only casualty from the fiasco was a group of soldiers who got nauseous and smelled like shit for hours. And of course, bruised egos." Loras said with amusement.

Jon huffed ."And what if the leader dyed her hair? And just because they seem not that dangerous doesn't mean we have to take them lightly."

"I don't think she's gonna dye her hair." she supplied. "You've said it yourself; they seemed to be inexperienced in committing crimes and were just having fun. I bet the girl is stubborn enough not to cover up her tracks. She didn't even bother to cover her face or hair on the said incidents. It almost seemed like she wants to expose herself and provoke someone to catch her. She was like playing a game actually."

Jon scowled. "I know. Seems like she decided to bring her mischief here in King's Landing."

She shot her eyebrow at that and exchanged a glance with Loras.

"Do you happen to know who that girl is?" Loras asked curiously.

"I'm still not sure if it's her but I have my suspicions." he said irritatingly. "The girl I used to know loves tormenting me, I mean the Night's Watch." he continued and blushed after realizing the little slip up.

That certainly piqued her interest. Whoever that girl is, she definitely has some past with Jon. If Jon is right about knowing the girl, then the girl is certainly trying to mock him by playing the Night's Watch like fools.

"A scorned lover, perhaps?" she smirked knowingly.

"Whaa-- it's not like that!!" he spluttered.

Loras laughed loudly. "Sweet seven! No wonder you acted weirdly! The girl certainly inspired different reactions from you. I seriously thought you were asexual because you were far more in love with your hair than anything else but it turns out you were keeping things from us all this time!" he said between laughter.

Jon's face flushed crimson and he already looks like he's gonna pass out. He started fidgeting and focused his gaze on the floor. Daenerys walked in the room at that moment. Jon never looked more relieved on seeing his aunt. "Auntie! So good to see you!" he exclaimed.

Daenerys furrowed her brows. "What the fuck, Jon?! I told you to never call me that. I may be your aunt but we are of the same age. It's so weird to be called like that especially coming from you! You are months older than me. We had an agreement!" she exclaimed petulantly.

"Sorry." he smiled sheepishly and Daenerys just rolled her eyes. She walked to her chair and Jon followed suit. "Shall we begin?" Dany stated.

 

Their meeting with Daenerys was short and concise. She's currently on her way to the airport to fly to Mereen to attend a summit. Being a president surely is a very demanding and exhausting job. She wasn't even able to attend Loras and Renly's wedding a week ago and still have to make up to them.

Margaery once aspired to be the president too but she outgrew it and was now more satisfied with helping the family business, doing charity works and being a loyal advisor to Daenerys.

Daenerys has been her classmate at the university and they have been good friends since. It was a bonus that she's also related to Jon and in a way with Sansa.

She's acknowledged the fact that Dany is more suited for the job than her. Margaery has all the qualities of being a great politician but she's a little bit selfish compared to her friend who is completely selfless. She's very proud of her friend because she's actually doing a great job leading all of Westeros. She's achieved so much within the past year of her term.

 

"Can I accompany you at Flea Bottom?" Renly suddenly emerged from her side while she brisk her way out of the Red Keep. The morning sun certainly looked inviting to stroll the gardens but she still had matters to attend to. It will have to wait. She looked at him briefly and smiled, "Sure. I can always use a helping hand." He grinned widely and offered to drive her car. Renly and Loras often accompany her with her charity works whenever they are available. Lately, it was only Renly who can afford to since Loras has been way too busy since he is a member of the Queensguard. He's always at Dany's side or wherever Dany orders him to. Renly, on the other hand, took a temporary leave from Baratheon Holdings to concentrate on being a dutiful husband to Loras.

 

"You and my brother are absolutely glowing. I take it that married life is treating you kindly." she remarked.  Renly grinned toothily while he maneuvered the car expertly, "It's wonderful! I can't believe we're already married. I mean, everything is just the same before we got hitched but it's different at the same time. Being married made us love each other more. Everything is just on a different level. It's just a bummer that our honeymoon is still on hold though. Dany have still a lot of engagements overseas that it's still tentative. I completely understand it, of course. Loras is very passionate of his job and I love him for it. But, still."

She laughed softly at that, "Loras said the same thing. Don't you worry though. Dany is hell bent on making up with you both by being a no-show at your wedding. I bet she's going to give Loras a couple of months paid leave and luxurious accommodations in any destination you guys choose for your honeymoon. Besides, I don't think it bothers you both that much. You guys make up for it on your own ways. I'm under the impression that you guys are having your own honeymoon-like intense sessions behind closed doors. In fact, you've been at it since getting together." she smirked knowingly. Renly choked at that and fumbled for his answers.

 

They talked some more before they settled in a comfortable silence. She gazed at the passing scenery with a sudden pensive mood.

"In another life, would I have a chance to marry her?" she mused softly. Renly didn't answer. She thought that he didn't hear her. When they chanced at a stoplight, he gently asked, "Do you ever regret it? Loving her?"

She looked at Renly who had a downcast look on his face. She realized then that everyone who really knew her must've been wanting to ask that question ever since. No one dared to ask until now. She honestly and gently answered him.

"Never. Not even once. Even if I am given a chance to turn back time, I would still do it again. Even if it will still end up like this, I would still love her again. I would always choose to love her. Because despite the excruciating pain and the horrible end of our story, I only truly lived when I loved her." she smiled wistfully. "I've resigned to the fact that I will never be truly happy for the rest of my life without her. Perhaps I shouldn't have met her in the first place to save myself from all the anguish.  But I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world. Not even the prospect of living a life without dealing with sadness and pain. It's all worth it. She's all worth it. I started to live when I loved her. And it will end with loving her." her voice broke and she looked away from Renly who was trying his best not to cry in front of her. She was thankful it was Renly who asked her that particular question. Ever since, it was only Renly who did not cry in front of her especially when the topic of Sansa is brought up. He's trying to be strong for her sake. She was thankful for that because she needed that kind of support. They somehow had that silent agreement. A silent support.

 

A few minutes after, they finally arrived at Flea Bottom. She was able to recover her composure by then. Renly looked at her inquisitively and she smiled reassuringly.

The charity event seemed to be going smoothly. She supervised as she always does and interacted with the people there. Doing charitable works always give her gratifying feeling especially when she sees the genuine smiles of the people she's helping. It always make her feel better.

 

It was about lunchtime when they were distributing meals when someone caught Renly's attention. "Gendry?! Is that you?" Renly blurted out with a hopeful voice. A tall muscular dark-haired guy with matching blue eyes not far from them looked in their direction and instantly widened his eyes and paled upon seeing Renly. Renly obviously thrilled, immediately approached the guy and hugged him fiercely. She has no idea who the guy is but she can see a strong resemblance between them. She's meet the Baratheon clan and she was sure that she's never seen him before. He was also about the same age as her.

Renly introduced them with each other and it turned out, he is one of Robert Baratheon's bastards. Robert, the oldest brother of Renly who died 10 years ago. Renly kept fussing his nephew and interrogated him on what happened to him all these years. Turns out, Gendry ran away after the death of his father.

They settled at a table where they were having their lunch with Renly bombarding Gendry with questions.

"So you are still with Hot Pie?" Renly asked suggestively.

Gendry flushed, "No! I mean yes. Yes we are still together. AS FRIENDS. We're not a couple. He is like a brother to me."

Renly snorted. She smirked at that. Gendry focused his gaze on his plate.

"But seriously, I'm glad you have someone with you all these years. I was so worried, you know. I looked for you for so long. I had my suspicions that you're in Essos and I was right. It's too bad that my hired investigators didn't find you." Renly drawled and sighed heavily.

Gendry seemed touched, "I..Thank You. Though, I wouldn't blame those investigators to not finding me. I don't stay at a city for long." he picked up his drink.

Renly jokingly said, "Why? You part of the wildlings?"

Gendry choked on his drink. She raised her eyebrow and Renly had a flabbergasted look on his face.

"You are??!!!"

"Yes. I am." Gendry deadpans.

"Then you are part of the wildlings who tried to burglarize for fun?" she asked amusedly.

"The stink bomb gang?" Renly chirped grinning.

Gendry flushed, "I don't know what you guys are talking about."

"You are a terrible liar, my dear nephew. It is clearly written on your face. Besides, the wildlings who caused mischief for the past few days obviously just arrived here in the capital. And you said it yourself; you arrived here 4 days ago. Add to that, you are also part of a wildling group."

Gendry paled and looked so alarmed. "Fine. I am indeed part of that group. But please. Don't rat us out. We meant no harm. I would talk to our leader. She was just having fun. We would not cause trouble again. And for the record, I did not participate to her foolishness. But please."

Renly smiled, "Don't worry. We will not. We know from the start that it was just a harmless prank anyway. But you gotta avoid that from now on. It's still a crime, you know."

Gendry looked relieved and thanked them. She smiled at him that made him blush. They continued to talk and Gendry even helped for the rest of the day. It was about nightfall when the event concluded.

"It's actually nice to finally meet you, Gendry. I sort of remember Renly telling us about you before." she said sincerely.

Gendry smiled shyly, "The pleasure is mine. It's also nice meeting you."

Renly excitedly said, "Loras would be back in a few days time. He would love to meet you too! And oh, you can bring this food with your friends. I had it especially made earlier." He shoved a basket on Gendry's arms.

"There's no need for this but thank you." Gendry checked the inside of the basket when he glanced up excitedly, "There's lemon cake?!"

She smiled unconsciously at that. It reminded her of her love.

"Are lemon cakes now your favorite?" Renly asked curiously.

"Nope. But it is Alayne's favorite."

"Alayne? Is she your girlfriend?"

Gendry laughed, "No. She's just a friend actually. A treasured friend. She's also part of the wildlings. She's...complicated. I've mentioned earlier that our leader was Ygritte, right?"

They both nodded.

"Well, even if Ygritte was our leader, the rest of us are more afraid of Alayne. Even Ygritte herself." he chuckled. "Alayne is quite a handful but we all love her all the same. And we love pampering her the best way we can to make her feel better." Gendry finished with a distant and melancholic gleam on his eye.

Margaery is certainly intrigued. There is more to this Alayne than meets the eye. There is something that Gendry is holding back. And she was puzzled. Basing from what Gendry said, they seemed to be very protective of Alayne. It was as if she’s a very fragile thing that they need to take care of. Someone that they needed to please.

"Perhaps we can meet her too? We would love to meet the rest of your friends." she said hopefully.

"Yeah! I also want to see Hot Pie again. I've missed that fat oaf." Renly chimed in.

Gendry smiled brightly, "Of course! I would have to convince them first but they would obviously refuse. Not that it matters. I would make sure that you guys will meet them whether they like it or not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already written a few chapters already and I was supposed to upload a few days ago but unfortunately, my laptop chose to fuck up. I am basically back to zero. I had to rewrite everyting. I'm not very satisfied for this since I feel like the the first one was much better. But well, here it goes. Constructive criticism is welcome. But please be gentle. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Ygritte

 

She's glaring daggers at Gendry who looked unrepentant at all.  
"So, care to share your past with the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch? What was his name again? Ahhh. Jon Targaryen." he had a shit-eating grin while wiggling his brows.  
"You fucking idiot. You basically rat us out. Did you also told those motherfuckers the color of our underwear? You seemed to have told them everything." she bitterly said as she tried to avoid the topic.  
"I knew it! No wonder you were so eager to cause trouble the moment we arrived. You formulated your idiotic plans by then and the very next day you executed it. It was really weird. When my uncle and his sister-in-law mentioned about Jon's suspicions and knowing someone who loves tormenting him, I figured it out. It all makes sense. You have some history with him." he laughed loudly.

  
The rest of the group was snickering as they ate the food that Gendry brought. She glared at them. Alayne, on the other hand, was happily munching her lemon cakes to even give them her attention. She's basically ignoring everything.

  
Gendry stopped laughing and wiped the tears from his eyes. "You guys should meet them. And as I already told you, they won't throw us in jail. Let's not just do something foolish again. And Ygritte, you should've told us about your grudge for Jon. We could've helped you. There are many ways of torturing him without doing something illegal."  
"You keep on mentioning that righteous moron's name as if you personally know him. Have you even met him? And I will not meet up with the motherfuckers. I'm not interested."  
Gendry sighed. "Stop calling them motherfuckers. They're my family. Well, my uncle's family to be more specific but you know what I mean."  
"That's the thing! We didn't even know you still have a family! You and Hot Pie said you were orphans when I took the both of you under my wing. Honesty is supposed to be the basic requirement of being a member of my legendary group!" she said accusingly. "And did you purposely looked for your uncle? Did you enjoy deceiving me? You know, I would actually not have a problem with this if you have just told me in the first place." she continued.  
Gendry guiltily answered. "I'm really sorry. Like what I said earlier, I wasn't lying to you when I said I was an orphan. Both of my parents are dead. I am a bastard. My father didn't even bothered to get to know me after finding out about my existence. And it was really just my uncle who really cared for me and treated me like a family. The reason why I haven't mentioned my remaining relatives, specifically my uncle who I cared for in return, is because I wanted a fresh start. I didn't want to be a burden to them and there was no longer a reason for me to be connected with them anyway. My father died. And so I decided to cut my ties with them and didn't bother to get any news about them on how they were doing for the last 10 years. Our meeting earlier was purely by chance. I was just looking around for a job when I happened to passed by Flea Bottom. My uncle saw me there."  
She sighed. She honestly understood Gendry and have already forgiven him but she's still pissed.

  
Alayne suddenly hummed loudly. "What's your plan? Are you going to leave the group now?"  
She scowled. "Wait, you're listening the whole time?"  
Alayne just raised her brow. "It's kinda hard to ignore Gendry's revelations, you know."  
Hot Pie suddenly bursts into tears. "Gendry! I'm gonna miss you! As much as I want you to stay with us, I can't actually stop you to be with your family. That is where you belong! We will support you."  
Gendry face-palmed. "Dry your tears, idiot. I will not leave the group. Yes they are my family but you guys are my family too. I will stay. Though I have to admit that cutting my ties with uncle was a mistake. I will not commit the same mistake again. Good thing he forgave me for that. It was just too bad I wasn't able to attend his wedding."  
"You could always make up for the lost time. We will be staying here for a few months anyway. Ignore the fact that you will be making up for the last 10 years." she said encouragingly. Gendry smiled gratefully.

  
Alayne then stood up from her chair. "Seems like everything is going to be fine then. I will retire to my room first. You guys have a good night." she curtly said and went straight to her room.  
They all stared after her thoughtfully. Everyone then gathered around Ygritte to talk conspiratorially.  
"What do you think happened?" Hot Pie asked in a hushed voice.  
"Yeah. It's really weird. This is definitely the first time that she's in a better mood despite having a shitty day." Gendry added.

She couldn't agree more. When Alayne has one of her shitty days, which is almost everyday, she would leave their place to go to God knows where if she ever decides to leave and goes back to them by nightfall. And even by then, she's still scary as hell. When she woke up looking like she wants to murder someone, it is expected that she will be like that until the day ends.  
So she's pleasantly surprised and bewildered when Alayne went back to them in a much better mood at nighttime. She came back later than usual and greeted them with a small smile. Everyone was weirded out and were exchanging puzzled looks. When Gendry offered her the lemon cakes, she took it gratefully and ate it without a care in the world. They were more confused than ever. Even lemon cakes doesn't help much in alleviating her mood when she's having a shitty day. The way she acted, it almost seemed like it was a normal day for her. Something must've happened.

  
"Whatever it is, it obviously helped her a great deal. Let's just observe for now. Alayne will eventually tell us about it. You know how she is." she said thoughtfully. She also wished them a good night and retired to her room.

  
It seemed like her decision to sail here at Westeros was right. She knew that everyone was so surprised and confused about her decision. She acted nonchalantly about it and told them that she already got bored roaming around Essos. It was true. But her main reason on going back to this country was Alayne. She wants Alayne to go back here because it may help her remember her past.

Ever since the day they met Alayne, they all saw how she struggles everyday. Sure there are normal days for her. The days where she's not hounded with nightmares, terrible mood and sudden panic attacks. It's actually a blessing if she manages to have consecutive days of being okay. The longest by far is 5 days. She was so relieved when Alayne managed to be okay for 3 days since arriving in King's Landing. She was initially very terrified that Alayne will get worst. Her decision was very risky after all. She also knows that Alayne was really anxious in returning in Westeros even if she doesn't say it. She didn't even leave their place for the past few days.

  
Ygritte had doubts about her decision but judging from what's happening now, it may have been the best decision she's made. Maybe Alayne can finally find a piece of herself here in King's Landing. Ygritte specifically chose King's Landing as their destination because of the fact that since it is the capital, there's a possibility that Alayne may have been here before. If she have been here, something may trigger her memories. She knows that Alayne originated from the North. It was evident in her accent. Ygritte herself was from the North a long time ago. She already have plans of going back to Winterfell if nothing will come out of their visit here in King's Landing. Or perhaps anywhere in Westeros except the Eyrie. The Eyrie is too much of a hell and too dangerous for Alayne to go back to. But the way she sees it, Alayne may finally find something here in the capital. She's even showing signs of being better despite having a shitty day in the first day she strolled the city. What more could happen if this continues? She let out a hopeful smile.

 

Alayne

She's on her way to the Red Keep to spend her time again in the godswood with a very ominous aura. She's in a mood worse than ever and she wants to de-stress. It has been 3 days since she found the wonderful spot. She initially thought that things will be better for her from there on because the place gave her comfort. For the very first time, she felt at peace by merely staying in that place. But it seems like the gods are mocking her because she was so wrong.

The very next day since finding the place, everything became worse for her. It all started when she was walking by the shops to buy food supplies with Ygritte when a road accident happened near them. The simultaneous honking and screeching of cars made her head throb sharply and painfully. She suddenly found it hard to breathe and her heart was beating frantically in her chest. She ran to an empty alley and sinked to her knees as she whimpered in pain while clutching her head. She barely registered that Ygritte ran after her with a panicked and worried expression on her face. Ygritte was saying something then as she tried to calm Alayne down but Alayne didn't hear a single thing she said because of the excruciating pain and the irregularity of her breathing.

Since then, everything became worse. Even staying in the godswood didn't help much anymore. Despite of that, she still went there everyday. She didn't understand it herself but she somehow had the feeling that she's waiting for something there. Or someone. It was such an odd feeling that added to her frustrations. She didn't know what to do or feel anymore.

She finally arrived at the godswood and walked quietly when she felt something like a rush. She frowned at the feeling. She never felt that before. Then she saw the most captivating beauty that she's ever seen in her entire life laid under the weirwood tree.

The girl has a chestnut hair with soft curls that complements well with her dainty features. She's enjoying a moment of solitude with her eyes closed as she enjoyed the warm spring sun. She looks incredibly gorgeous but, somehow, there was a longing and sadness etched on her face that makes Alayne Stone have the strong desire to be the one to make it go away. Alayne didn't even realize that her nasty mood and thoughts melted away.

  
The world suddenly stopped and the beating of her heart is the only thing that she heard. There are butterflies fluttering in her body everywhere. She stared at the girl for a moment and brisked away immediately. She suddenly felt so overwhelmed about how she felt that made her turn away. She felt scared. She never felt that before. She felt very confused and frustrated because for some reason, there was a feeling of relief and completeness in her whole being. It was as if the one she's waiting for finally arrived. As if the missing piece of her is finally here.


	6. Chapter 6

Margaery

 

She was tending to the winter roses inside her apartment when she received a call from Catelyn Stark. They chatted for a while and said their goodbyes. Despite how busy they are, they always make sure to talk once in a while. The Starks are a family to her. The Tyrells and the Starks always had a friendly relationship with each other but when she and Sansa fell in love and got together, their families became one. They were the pillars to her strength. The support of their families helped her a lot to recover and move on after losing Sansa. If it weren't for them, she was certain that she fell apart.

 

She was very elated to spend time with the Starks at Highgarden during Loras and Renly's wedding especially since Arya finally completed her training and is back for good. Out of all the Starks, it was only Jon that she sees often since he relocated here in King's Landing almost 2 years ago so she was happy that she got to spend time with all of them.

 

The morning spring sun certainly looks inviting as she was gazing out of the window and decided to take a stroll in the gardens of the Red Keep again. Strolling in the gardens is her favorite hobby to do. She does it often but wasn't able to do it since she returned from Highgarden until yesterday. There were a lot of matters she had to attend to at first and its only since yesterday that she's finally able to relax.

She always loved being surrounded with flowers. It gives her a sense of tranquility. Growing up in Highgarden and being a Tyrell certainly played a big part with that.

 

She sat under the shade of the weirwood tree surrounded by variety of flowers overlooking the Blackwater Bay. She leaned against the tree and closed her eyes while she enjoyed the warm spring sun. She and Sansa always loved that there is a garden of flowers here in the godswood of King's Landing. It was very much like them. The North and the South colliding in harmony. A Stark and a Tyrell. They often spent their time here. This was one of their sanctuaries aside from each other's arms.

For some reason, there are hardly any people who come here at all. She found it odd at first especially that this is basically the best place in King's Landing. There are a variety of exotic flowers here and has the best atmosphere and view. She supposed that the mysterious and dignified aura of the godswood is too overwhelming for most people. She liked it all the more since it almost seemed like this place was created for them alone.

 

She opened her eyes and looked around. When she was here yesterday, she suddenly felt a rush that she haven't felt for a long time.

It was also about the same time as now when she was also sitting in the same spot. She didn't know how long she was enjoying the tranquility that time when she felt it. She initially ignored it thinking nothing of it. The nagging feeling and eventual realization that someone really stared at her for a moment was what finally made her opened her eyes and looked around frantically then. She remembered being frustrated and felt irrational hope when the realization hit her. She felt lightheaded and her heart was beating erratically. The rush that she felt, it was the same feeling that she always felt when Sansa is around. She was certain of it. She felt Sansa's presence.

 

And now she's here again not knowing what to expect. She knows that her heart must be playing tricks with her. She felt torn. The rush that she felt, she can't be possibly mistaken. A tiny voice in her heart tells her that Sansa was indeed here yesterday. That Sansa stared at her fondly as she always do even for the briefest moment. That somehow, she is still alive.

 

Margaery have been used to people staring at her. She grew up with people staring at her either with admiration or lust. It never bothered her and she never cared. It has always been Sansa who made her feel something about it. It was only Sansa who made her feel warm and excited with a mere glance. Sansa's presence and close proximity always make her feel something like a rush. Like her heart has some kind of a radar and indicator. Even her eyes are closed, her heart can identify it. Her heart remembers that feeling. Her heart remembers Sansa.

 

It was an irrational hope and yet a part of her wants to listen to it. Her heart tells her to listen to it. But would she dare hope? If she did listen to it, what would she gain? She knows that she's gonna be disappointed in the end. But what was that feeling all about? She never believed in ghosts. If ghosts do exist, Sansa must've let her presence known a long time ago when she desperately wished for it. She grimaced. She was wrong. Ghosts DO exist. They do not appear as spirits or some hideous monsters. Instead, they let their presence known with a more vicious way. With memories. With pain. With longing. With love. The infamous ghosts of memories.

 

She stood up immediately and decided to distract herself with work. She didn't want to allow herself to ponder on those thoughts anymore. She will fall apart.

 

 

 

Jon and Dany were rolling their eyes as Loras and Renly practically eat each other out passionately in front of them. She stifled a laugh at Gendry's scandalized look especially when he saw the intense tongue action. The rest of Dany's entourage and Queensguard acted indifferently to it since they already got used to the display. Even then, she still noticed the hidden mirth in their eyes.

"For the love of the old gods and the new, would you two please stop already? Gendry is being traumatized, you know." Jon interrupted shaking his head.

"Yes. And you guys are stealing my thunder EVERY TIME." Dany chides.

Loras pouted and childishly answered. "But I miss my hubby sooo much! I can't get enough of him. And Gendry will get over it. He's a big boy now and will be spending time with us often enough to get use to it. And Dany, you are not a famewhore. You are very low profile. In fact, you are very much pleased that we steal the attention of everyone every time." Loras finished with a haughty voice.

Renly nodded goofily and resumed on snogging Loras.

Dany snorted while taking Gendry's arms. "Come, Gendry. We don't want to be here if they decide to fuck on the spot." Dany said blandly. Gendry and Jon flushed while she chuckled a bit. They made their way to the car to go to the Sept of Baelor for Dany's impromptu visit. Dany had a habit of visiting random places on the capital every time she returns from a trip. She returned yesterday and decided that she will visit the Sept. She also doesn't announce any of her visits.

 

When they arrived, the few people around was so surprised and flocked around Dany immediately. The Queensguard and the rest of the entourage took the necessary measures and precautions for every visit and were now doing their assigned tasks on keeping Dany safe and comfortable. She stood with Jon and Gendry on the side as they watched the people animatedly interact with Dany outside the Sept. She is a well-loved president after all.

 

"I can't believe I'm actually rubbing elbows with her." Gendry said mystified.

Jon laughed softly. "Yeah. It's actually fascinating to see that despite everything, she never changed. That despite the grandeur of her world now, she is still the girl we all used to know."

She nodded. "Her selflessness and charisma endeared her to the citizens really well. Even the people at Essos actually like her."

"That's true. Even Ygritte idolizes Dany. All the more when Dany gave us pardon about the trespassing at the Red Keep and the bank. She will never admit it though." Gendry said pointedly at Jon while smirking. Jon pretended he didn't hear what Gendry said and avoided their gaze.

"Speaking of which, when are we going to meet her and Alayne? We've already meet the rest of your friends except for them. And I don't know if it's just me but you guys are on edge for the past few days. Especially you. When I first meet you days ago, you were still fine. But the very next day, you are like, very worried about something." she inquired.

Gendry sighed and answered dejectedly. "About that, I knew I said I will introduce them whether they like it or not. I'm afraid it will not happen soon. Unfortunately, the very next day after reuniting with uncle, all hell break lose. It was very unexpected. We all thought things are going to be better. I was even really pleased at first because aside from my unexpected reunion with uncle, she actually showed signs of being better all in the same day. And yet, everything started to go downhill. And I don't want to force her to do something that she's not willing to do, you know. It will piss her off further."

She exchanged a confuse glance with Jon.

"Whatever do you mean?” Jon asked.   

"By "her", you're not referring about Ygritte, right?" she said thoughtfully.

Gendry hesitated. "Well.. Yeah. I'm referring about Alayne. And.. it's kind of complicated. It's not my story to tell. As much as I want to tell you guys, I just can't. I know you can help greatly but I don't want to impose. I initially planned on convincing her to ask for your help, but I can't talk to her right now. In fact, no one can talk to her properly. She responds to Ygritte once in a while but she's been very horrible this past few days. She's worse." Gendry finished helplessly.

Margaery's interest piqued at that. There really is something about this Alayne. "We will not pry any further if that's what you want. But know that if you ever need our help, especially Alayne, you can always come to us. I will personally help the best way I can whatever the problem is." she said sincerely.

Jon nodded. "Yes. And if you guys are in trouble, I will take care of it." he said and thoughtfully added. "And how was your job anyway? Are you and your friends liking the new job? It was only Ygritte and this Alayne friend of yours who did not take the job offer. I was kind of wondering why they didn't take it since Renly was the one who provided it for all of you. But I guess if Alayne has some sort of a problem, it makes sense. I know Ygritte. She takes care of her own. She treats you like her family and if one of you has a problem, she will solve it with you."

She smiled teasingly at that. "Ygritte surely sounds like a wonderful woman. We can't wait for her reunion with you, Jon. Dany is looking forward to meet her future niece."

Jon blushed and stuttered while Gendry guffawed loudly. Their serious conversation officially ended with that.

"If you guys don't mind, I will go inside the Sept first." she said and Gendry and Jon merely nodded at her.

 

She walked her way inside the Sept and was mulling over the conversation with Gendry. She didn't know why but for some reason, she has an odd interest with Alayne. She hasn’t seen the girl yet but, somehow, it was as if she already knows her. There was some kind of gravitation that she feels towards her. And she's honestly worried about her too. From the little information that Gendry shared with them, she can tell that Alayne is a troubled girl. She's genuinely confused about how she feels because she's actually caring about a girl she hasn’t met yet. She has no idea what she looks like or what kind of person she is.

 

As expected, the Sept is evidently empty. Everyone already gathered outside to see Dany. She enjoyed the solitude and the solemn aura of the Sept for the moment. She stood in front of the statue of the Maiden and was about to offer a prayer when she felt it. She felt the rush again and her heart was beating frantically in her chest. She clenched her fist and closed her eyes tightly.

 

 

 

Alayne

 

She was sitting on a bench and munching on the lemon cakes that Hot Pie made for her. She intentionally skipped on going to the godswood today because she wants to avoid seeing the girl that she saw yesterday. She had a feeling that the girl will be there again. She's agitated with the fact that she can't stop thinking about her. The girl is hounding her since yesterday. After finding the girl in the godswood, she went straight to their place much to Ygritte's confusion. The rest of their comrades went to work already and Ygritte was on the process of going out herself when she slammed the door when she entered the house. She went straight to her room then and moped for the rest of the day. When she reemerged during dinner, she noticed that Ygritte was throwing weird looks at her. Even this morning, she noticed that Ygritte was giving her the same look and was staring at her intently.

 

And now she's pathetically eating lemon cakes on a bench and still thinking about the girl. She's pissed because even if she insists in her mind that she doesn't want to see the girl again, she actually felt the opposite. Her need to see the girl again is increasing every second. The moment she left yesterday, she had the strong urge to go back and talk to her. And when she woke up earlier, her first impulse was to go to the godswood to find the girl again.

 

She decided to walk around to distract herself. She's scowling as she walks. She happened to passed by the Sept of Baelor and decided to enter the place. She explored the place again because she can feel some kind of a familiarity with it just like how she felt in the Red Keep especially the godswood. She situated herself in a corner where she can stay hidden but observe everything clearly. There were only a few people around and she leaned against the wall while enjoying the solemn aura. She frowned when she noticed the few people around excitedly whispered something with each other after a woman delivered news or something and went out of the Sept hastily. She can also faintly hear a commotion outside. She shrugged and enjoyed the fact that she's alone. She stayed for a few minutes and was about to leave herself when she heard the clicking of heels. Her breath hitched and her eyes went wide as she saw an ethereal beauty glided her way in the Sept. Her chestnut hair with beautiful soft curls swayed lightly and her brown doe-eyes complements well with her unblemished skin. Her slender yet shapely figure is to die for. It was the goddess that she saw at the godswood yesterday. Her heart is beating erratically in her chest that it almost hurt. She found herself being enchanted like yesterday. Relief and warmth flooded her entire being and unconsciously smiled genuinely. She felt uncharacteristically happy.

Alayne didn't even realize that she was staring fondly and thoughtfully at the girl who stood before the statue of the Maiden. She noticed that the girl flinched briefly. After a few seconds, the girl suddenly looked around with a conflicted searching look on her face.

 

Alayne didn't know why but she felt a tug at her heart. The way the girl looked, it almost seemed like she was searching for an important missing piece of her heart and soul but at the same time she also looked like she was desperately trying to stop herself from doing so because it will break her heart further. Alayne suddenly felt the urge to wrap her arms around her, kiss her worries away and cuddle with her for the rest of the day.

She froze on the spot and blushed furiously at her thoughts. She's already having perverse thoughts about the girl she only saw twice. She left right there and then from her spot and maneuver her way to the back entrance quietly. She was genuinely confused on how she reacts to the girl's presence. She gravitates to her too much that it terrifies her. And it baffles her to realize that she felt so much better after seeing her again. Alayne normally is very wary about strangers but for some reason, she felt like she wants to trust the girl. In fact, she had the feeling that she NEEDS to trust the girl.

She needs to talk to someone about this. And she has just one person in mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Ygritte

 

A charity event is ongoing at Flea Bottom and it is absolutely crowded. They were huddled in a corner. She's gawking at the stunning beauty not far from them. Alayne was blushing and fidgeting at her side.

"Sweet seven! No wonder you got so wet for her. Fuck! She's like a walking sexual tension!" she said utterly amazed. The girl indeed was a beauty to behold.

Alayne widened her eyes and blushed further. "Stop being so crass! And why do you keep on insisting that I'm--I'm aroused?! Gods! You are corrupting me!" she splutteringly said.

Ygritte cackled. "Please! If there's anyone who corrupted you, it's that girl you had unholy thoughts of. The moment you saw her, you looked like you found the greatest thing that the gods can give you. You looked like a lovesick puppy. Love comes with mind blowing sex, you know. And you my dear, had it bad. You looked like you want to fuck and ravish her mercilessly." she smirked while Alayne looked so scandalized. "You will refuse to admit it because you are impossibly stubborn but you obviously have an underlying intense feelings buried deep in your heart for her." she grinned lecherously. "Not that I can blame you, I mean, I want to fuck her so hard too. She looks like a sex goddess." she continued.

Alayne flushed crimson and awkwardly uttered, "For the last time, I'm not in love with her. Just because I tend to have a strange gravitation towards her doesn't mean I'm in love with her or--or want to bed her. I'm just curious." Then she continued darkly and very clearly. "And I would appreciate it very much if you will not describe or discuss her like she's some common whore."

Ygritte felt herself cringed fearfully and gulped. Alayne really have this talent of managing to scare the hell out of you even if she's talking to you calmly. Her threats are much more deadlier. And she's much more terrifying now than her usual terrifying self.

"Look at you, being protective and all." she tried placatingly. Alayne narrowed her eyes with a violent gleam in it.

"Fine! I'm sorry! You know I'm just joking! I didn't mean to insult or offend you, I mean her. It won't happen again! I swear! I also doubt that she will like me anyway. Besides, I prefer my lover dark-haired and scruffy. She's all yours!" she surrendered fearfully.

Alayne nodded approvingly and blushed a little at that. She looked at the girl again with a soft look on her eyes.

Ygritte is certainly crept out and strangely fascinated by the sight. It's certainly odd to see Alayne looking like a melting butter while not a minute had passed that she looked like she wants to murder her. And for the life of her, she never imagined that Alayne is capable of looking like that.

Alayne surely can be sweet on her normal days but even by then, she still had a haunted look on her eyes and had a lingering dark aura. She's also a bag of contradictions as for the moment. She insists that she's not in love with the girl and yet she had the look of someone who is whipped. She's also fiercely protective and unconsciously claiming the girl as hers without realizing it.

 

It's only a confirmation of her suspicions. Alayne really did know the girl before. Memories may fade but the heart will always remember. She strongly believed that and judging from what she's seeing on her friend's face, it's true. It's definitely true.

When Alayne went to her yesterday and confided about her encounter of the girl, she felt so pumped up and even grinned wickedly that Alayne almost slapped her out of irritation.

 

Her gut feeling was right. The moment she saw Alayne the other day going back to their place in broad daylight for the very first time, she felt that there is some sort of a progress. All the more when she noticed the look on Alayne's face before she holed herself in her room. Alayne had her usual poker face on but underneath her blank exterior, she detected an unusual frustration.  Alayne seemed like she's burdened about something that is strangely meant to be a good thing. She was itching to ask Alayne about it but she refrained from doing so. Even if Alayne is finally in a better mood at dinner that day, everyone still gave her space and refrained from being their usual boisterous selves. After all, they were never sure especially that she's gotten worse for the past few days. Alayne's epic outbursts are not something to be taken lightly. Even she is terrified of the girl and that is saying something. So she settled on observing her and waited for her to confide.

 

Her strategy paid off. Alayne really went to her in such a short time. She felt so smug about it. After Alayne shared her frustrations about her gravitation to the mystery girl, thoughts have been juggling inside Ygritte's head. The way Alayne talked about the girl, it was like coming from someone describing the love of her life. She even had this stupidly adorable fond look on her face. Of course she never said that to Alayne. She merely suggested that perhaps Alayne knew the girl before. She also kept on dropping hints and teased her mercilessly about it. You never know. It might be a trigger for her to remember something.

 

She had to practically drag Alayne outside the house earlier for them to look for the mystery girl. The brat is impossibly stubborn. No matter how she tried, Alayne won't say where she saw the girl for them to look for. She can see that Alayne is just being stubborn. Alayne obviously wants to see the girl again but strongly denies it even to herself.

It made her even more persistent and was ranting all the way as they walked around the city. She's hell bent on finding the girl wherever she is. She could be the key to Alayne's past and broken self, after all. It was purely by luck and chance that when they passed by at Flea Bottom, the girl was there.

 

When they were at Flea Bottom's plaza in the middle of the crowd, they were thoroughly confused that the people around were so excited about something. She noticed that Alayne already looked pale and felt uncomfortable with the throngs of people around. The weather was considerably hot too. She can see that Alayne already felt dizzy and it made her anxious. It's a bad sign since it sometimes lead Alayne to a sudden panic attack or paranoia. She grabbed Alayne's wrist then and was about to leave when Alayne suddenly grabbed her instead and dragged her to an empty corner. Alayne calmed herself down and took deep breaths. She let out a sigh of relief escape her when the color on Alayne's face returned. She's glad that Alayne already learned ways on managing herself.

She looked around and noticed that their corner was the perfect place to spy. They were hidden but can observe everything. The corner was cozy too. She made comments and Alayne agreed as well. It turns out that a charity event was scheduled that day. She suggested then that they leave. She walked a few steps ahead when she noticed that Alayne didn't move from her spot. She returned to Alayne's side in confusion and noticed her bewitched expression with a smile gracing her lips. She then looked for what she's looking at. She instantly singled out a newly arrived enchantress among the crowd and did a double take. The girl is incredibly gorgeous. She had a sweet smile gracing her lips as she interacted with the people. Ygritte even envies the soft curls of her chestnut hair. She cocked her brows and nudged Alayne if it was the girl. Alayne hesitatingly nodded that made her squeal and gawked at the girl.

 

 

She noticed that the girl was subtly looking around for some time now. She seemed like she's searching for something or perhaps someone since she kept on looking at the throngs of people around. She also noticed that the smile plastered on the girl's face already looked forced compared earlier.

"You know, there's no need for you to be afraid." she seriously said.

Alayne frowned in confusion and looked at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Approaching her. Talking to her. You've to give it a shot. Like what I said, the way you are feeling, it's your heart communicating to you. Your heart will never lie. The heart is much more accurate than memories." she looked at her straight in the eyes.

Alayne looked ahead with a thoughtful expression. "People get in trouble for listening to their heart. They get hurt or do some horrendous acts just because they listened to their heart. The heart is susceptible. If there is anything you need to learn to survive life and this world that is you should never trust your heart."

"That may be true. But you can't deny the fact that if all things fail, it is your heart that you can only depend on. You know that better than anyone. When we met you, you were very suspicious and wary of everyone and yet you trusted us even a little.  Why?" she paused and looked at Alayne intently. "Because your heart somehow told you that you can trust us, right? That we will be your family and we will protect you. Alayne, you need to give it a chance. That girl can be the link to your past. Let's not prolong your agony. You don't even have to talk to her. Just let her see you and see what happens. If she recognizes you, then it will be for the best. If she doesn’t, then you can befriend her."

Alayne looked at her and opened her mouth and closed again. She then finally relented with a small voice. "But if I did know her before, how would I know that I can really trust her? That she didn't play a hand to whatever's happened to me that cost me my whole being? I can't just depend on how I felt for her now.  It's too risky. She will be someone connected to my past. My complicated past obviously."

"It won't matter. We will protect you. You have us. And besides, I'm quite confident that she is someone that you can trust. You know that yourself. And the way you talked about her? It seemed like you know her inside and out. It must be your subconscious talking. I don't see any problem at all. You are just too terrified to take a step forward. Your fears are paralyzing you." she stated and grabbed Alayne's wrist firmly and smirked. "Let's get you exposed to the love of your life now. Enough with the serious talk."

Alayne's alarmed expression with her jaw dropping to the floor looked too comical that made her grin wickedly. Alayne protested fiercely and she dragged her to the throngs of people to maneuver their way to the girl. She knew that Alayne would probably mutilate her later but she have to do this. She hopes it will be worth it.

 

Ygritte herself has strong reservations to strangers especially if it involves Alayne's welfare. But she felt like she can trust the girl. She didn't know if it’s because of her very own closeted romantic self or because the girl looked too stunning to be suspicious but her gut feeling tells her that this is the right thing to do. Gut feelings and intuitions are hardly wrong. She's certain that Alayne had the strongest urge to approach the girl. It was clear on her lovestruck face. She's just really stubborn.

 

And now she's being a good friend with a golden heart by pushing Alayne to the right track. She's quite certain that the 2 equally gorgeous girls know each other before. She won't be surprised if they used to be lovers or Alayne had some sort of a one sided love with the other girl. The important thing is, the girl could help Alayne fix her broken self.

 

She knows how stubborn Alayne can be. Gods. It even took about 2 months before Alayne finally opened up about her situation to them. They were like living in hell for that 2 months dealing with her horrible moods, sudden panic attacks and epic outbursts without any clue and idea what the hell is happening to her. They were really stressed out that they can’t do anything about it. They were really helpless that time. Well, even now they are still helpless. They can't do anything every time she's on a mood. They only kept up with it that time because they were already attached to her and were really worried. They also didn't have the heart to turn away a broken and lost person especially the one they already love. And now, she won’t allow for another 2 months to pass before Alayne makes a move. She needs to talk to the girl immediately.

 

They were halfway through the crowd when a deafening explosion nearby sent everyone to a panicked state. She cursed under her breath. Everyone tried to run to different directions while sounds of crying and shouting filled the air. There was too much confusion that she won't be surprise if a stampede will occur. She's being sandwiched with the throngs of people and sweating profusely. She's being hit everywhere that made her wince. She realized then that she lost Alayne in the crowd.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck!" she hollered in frustration. She needs to get away in this crowd as soon as possible. This can't be good. She needs to find Alayne. Explosions are a huge trigger for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be longer but then I just decided to post this first. I am still in the process of rewriting everyting. *sobs* Add to that, I'm quite busy nowadays. *sobs some more* Anyways, comments and kudos are greatly aprreciated. Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

Alayne

 

She's hugging her coat closer to her body as she walked quietly to the godswood. The cool spring air did nothing to the tumultuous emotion inside her. The moon is shining brightly with stars twinkling like dust of diamonds in the night sky. It's a very fine evening and yet she had the urge to throw an outburst. She wants to hit something, pull her hair out or just plainly kill someone or herself. She can't sleep. She can't think clearly. A horrible image kept coming back to her especially every time she closes her eyes. She also kept hearing that horrible scream. An image of a girl soaked in her own blood who kept screaming horribly as she was skinned alive.

 

She reached the weirwood tree and slumped against it. She then pulled her knees up close to her chest and hugged it as she tried to calm her breathing. The bile in her throat is back. The burning in her eyes can't be stopped as she finally sobbed miserably. What did she ever do to deserve this? Was she a terrible person before? Are the gods punishing her now?

She reached inside the pocket of her coat and pulled out a shiny piece of jewelry that flickered beautifully under the moonlight. It has a white gold chain with a golden rose pendant that have a diamond studded wolf's face in the middle of it. She stared at the necklace while her tears continued to flow. For some reason, she somehow felt better even for a little. The necklace surely looked fancy and undoubtedly a beauty to behold but the familiarity that she felt for it comforted her.

 

 

 

After she got separated from Ygritte after the explosion earlier, she frantically looked for an empty place mindless of the pain she received from the random blows from the frightened people around. She felt nauseous. When she finally found herself in a dark alley, she crouched on the corner and convulsed severely.  The image of the girl being skinned alive kept haunting her and the horrible scream was the only thing she heard. It was the very image from her nightmares. This time, it was vivid. She threw up in a trash bin then. The explosion somehow triggered the gruesome image. She didn't know how long she stayed in the dark alley as she tried to remove the image from her head and tried to silence the screams. After succeeding and gathering her bearings, she decided to go back at the plaza to look for Ygritte. She walked indifferently as the Night's Watch, Unsullieds and Dothrakis gingerly investigated and guarded the place. Surely, they will be on heavy duty  from now on.

She caught sight of a flickering object on the side of the road where several cars were parked near the Flea Bottom's plaza. She picked it up and studied it. It was a necklace. She suspected that whoever owned it hastily left the place after the explosion. She felt drawn to it and kept it in her pocket. She continued to walk her way in to the plaza when someone grabbed her shoulders.

Ygritte was panting heavily with her face so flushed and hair disheveled and suddenly hugged her tightly. She can clearly see the relief on her eyes. Ygritte then scrutinized her in confusion. She blandly told her that she wants to go home. Ygritte agreed unsurely.

She can feel the worried glances that Ygritte was giving her. They walked silently until they reached their place. She walked straight to her room and shut herself. She felt numb. She felt cold. After gathering her bearings at the alley, she suddenly felt indifferent about everything. She took the necklace from her pocket and cleaned it meticulously. It was not even dirty. She took great care of it and placed it in her cabinet. She then proceeded to clean her room and took a long shower.

 After that, she took out the sewing kit from her cabinet along with the necklace. She busied herself with sewing a wolf and a golden rose on a handkerchief. A smile left her as she scrutinized the finished product. It was the same as the pendant on the necklace.

 It was about nightfall when she went out of her room to eat. Everyone was already there and regarded her carefully. She ate without a word and went back to her room again.

 She was lying on her back and staring at the canopy of her bed when the image and the scream haunted her once again. She closed her eyes tightly and covered her ears. It only got worse. She then paced around the room trying to shake every thing off. She tried to sleep and distract herself with anything but it was all for naught. She was palpitating and hyperventilating. She took a change of clothes and a fresh coat from the rack and put the necklace in the pocket. She knew that everyone was already on their respective rooms at this time of the night. It was already late. She went out quietly and proceeded to go to the godswood.

 

 

 

She sniffled as she shoved the necklace back in her pocket. She didn’t know exactly how long she cried but she’s eventually stopped along with the gruesome image. She enjoyed the silence as she hiccup. She felt exhausted but a terrible headache started at the back of her skull. Her head suddenly throb sharply and painfully that made her wince. She decided to leave and stood up when she felt extremely dizzy. She wobbled and rested her right hand on the tree. She tried to massage her head with her left hand as she strained to look at her surroundings. Her vision was getting blurry. She blinked rapidly and rubbed her eyes and wobbled as she walked. She only managed a few steps when someone arrived.

 

She felt a rush and strained to look at the person who just arrived. Her vision cleared for a moment and saw a goddess. The moonlight made her more beautiful. Her chestnut hair swayed lightly as a breeze passed. There was an unreadable expression on her face. A lot of emotion passed through her large brown eyes. They held each other's gaze without blinking until her vision became blurry again. She must really felt so dizzy because she thought that the girl looked teary-eyed.  She thought that the girl said something when the pain suddenly doubled over that made her whimper and clutched her head tightly. She wanted to hit it on a wall. She wobbled and took a step as she felt her consciousness left her. She was about to fall face first when someone caught her. More accurately, someone hugged her. A sweet flowery scent invaded her. She was surrounded with flowers since she's in a garden and yet this certain fragrance was distinct and became her instant favorite. There was a distant sobbing she heard. The soft body embracing her trembled slightly but gripped her tightly as if she was the most  precious thing in this world. It was full of warmth and felt like... Home. For the very first time ever, she felt safe. She felt complete. Contentment filled her before everything went black.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Margaery

 

Panic seized her when Sansa lost consciousness. She wiped her tears away and brought Sansa back to their apartment at the Maidenvault immediately. She made frantic calls to Loras and Jon to go to her apartment as soon as possible. She then proceeded to call Winterfell. It was Arya who got the call and she practically begged her for the Starks to go to the capital at the earliest time possible. Arya had to promise her in order to calm her down. She knows that Arya must be so confused about her call. She also contacted a maester.

She made all the calls without leaving her gaze from Sansa's face and holding her hand tightly. Loras practically barged his way to the bedroom with Renly in tow and demanded if she was alright when he instantly shuts up. She's sure that he and Renly must be slack-jawed to see Sansa on the bed. It would've have been fun to see but she's more focused and more interested on looking at the love of her life's face. Few minutes later, Jon arrived along with the maester. No one said a word save for the maester who rambled on about Sansa's condition. The maester must've felt so awkward at the tension around the room that made him to attempt a joke. He was clueless and didn't know who Sansa is. She specifically contacted a maester who has no idea on what's happening. She needs to protect Sansa.

  
Protecting Sansa. Everything felt surreal. Sansa is alive. Sansa is really here. She was sitting on the bedside gazing at Sansa's unconscious face and holding her hand the whole time. She have no intention of looking away at all. She didn't dared leave Sansa's side even when the maester examined her condition. She's terrified that if she turned away even just for a second, Sansa will disappear. That everything is just a dream. She gripped Sansa's hand possessively. She will never let go. She will not lose Sansa again.  
Silence continued to fill the room after the maester left and after she recounted where she found Sansa.

"We need to be discreet about this. Everything just doesn't add up. It's better for her stay in this apartment for the mean time. Not that she will complain since this is her home too." Jon said quietly.  
"Someone orchestrated everything. It's pretty obvious. Someone fucked us all. And whoever that someone is, managed to get away with everything. The motherfucker could be socializing with us for all we know!" Loras said with anger in his voice.  
"And what I don't understand, why did Sansa hid herself for so long? She could've come to us sooner. I mean, we all believed that she's dead for the past 2 years. Gods. It will be turning 3 in a few months time." Renly added in a confused and somber tone.  
"That's also what I don't understand. She dyed her hair so it's pretty obvious that she's hiding. She's probably on the run. But why not come to us? We could've helped her. If not for Margaery finding her by pure chance, will she not reveal herself?" Loras said in frustration.  
"I suppose she's the only one who could answer that." Jon answered solemnly.

She has a bountiful of questions herself and is already seething on the fucking worm who managed to slip away from their hands. But for now, she will bask at the fact that Sansa is alive. She's still very worried though. Sansa was in pain before she lost consciousness. The maester assuring them that fatigue and stress caused the fainting spell, didn't ease her worries at all.

 

"I contacted Winterfell earlier. Arya promised that they will arrive here the earliest time possible. I didn't tell her anything though. I just told her that it's urgent and to keep quiet about it." she informed.  
Jon hummed. "Yes. It's better that way. It will refrained them from sharing it with someone either with excitement or disbelief. We never know. Loras was right. It's possible that whoever the moron who got away is in the same circle with us. We need to be very careful. Sansa may or may not know whoever that is so we need to keep this under wraps. We need to investigate without alerting anyone."  
Loras and Renly voiced their agreement and gave suggestions. Silence filled the room once again and she felt their gazes focused on her. Loras moved to her side as he placed a hand on her shoulder gently.  
"Marg, we will just be staying outside. Call us if you need anything." Loras said softly.  
She nodded without looking at him and continued to gaze at Sansa. "Use the spare bedroom if you guys want to sleep. Just feel at home. And could you guys turn off the lights before you leave the room? Sansa prefers to sleep that way."  
"Okay. Well, you also preferred to sleep that way too. You fit each other perfectly." Loras said fondly. Then he kissed her temple comfortingly. "This is not a dream, you know. She will not disappear again. You need to rest as well, dear sister. Please." he murmured softly while hugging her from the side.

  
A minute had passed before Jon cleared his throat, "I have to leave for a while since I still have some matters to attend to after the fiasco at Flea Bottom. Gods. It's past midnight and I want to sleep. I haven't done a night duty shift for a while now." Jon whined good-naturedly.  
"Duuhhh! You are the Lord Commander of the NIGHT'S WATCH. It makes sense for you to be up at nights, lazy bum." Renly answered haughtily.  
It made Jon scoff and Loras snickering. They turned off the lights leaving the lampshade on and continued to banter as they left the room. She knew that they were trying to make things less tense for her sake. They want her to loosen up.

 

She brought Sansa's hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. She's long ago resigned to the fact that she will have to wait for another lifetime to see Sansa again. She's been looking forward for the day that she will meet her again. To fall in love with her all over again. No matter how long it takes, she will patiently wait for it. Even if they will have to start on a clean slate without any memories of their love or their past life, it won't matter because their heart will always find and recognize each other. Their love binds them together. Isn't that what true love is? A love that will transcend time and a different lifetime. That is the kind of love that she and Sansa have.

  
Who would've thought that she will eventually see Sansa in this lifetime again? That she didn't have to wait for a very long time?  
The old and gods and the new know how much she desired to see Sansa again. How much she desperately wished to hold Sansa again and tell her how much she loves her. For her to be alive. And now it all came true.

 

She reached for the lampshade blindly with her one hand and turned it off. The moonlight from the windows illuminated the entire room. She smiled fondly as she took in Sansa's delicate features. Tears of relief and happiness slipped on her cheeks once again.  
It all made sense. The rush that she felt at the godswood, the sept and even at Flea Bottom, it all made sense. Everything made sense. Sansa was there. She's now sure of it. Her heart was right all along. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she reached out and ran her hand to Sansa's now dark locks. She's always known that Sansa can pull off any look without breaking a sweat and she was right. Sansa looks incredibly gorgeous with her dark hair but her auburn locks will always be her favorite. She certainly looked best with it. Under normal circumstances, she would've been amused to the fact that Sansa dyed her hair. Sansa loves her hair so much to defile it with another color. She could just imagine Sansa's frustration about it. But she couldn't bring herself to be amused by it because of the implication that Sansa must be in trouble and she was trying to save herself by hiding thus dyeing her hair.

 

She continued to caress Sansa's hair with one hand while her other hand held Sansa's hand as she recalled their meeting at the godswood earlier.

She just decided to go there because she couldn't sleep. She was too upset on losing her favorite necklace. The necklace that Sansa gave to her. She was even berating herself on why she chose to wear it that day. The commotion at Flea Bottom caused too much disorder that she was escorted immediately by the guards. She noticed in an instant that her necklace got lost the moment she entered the car. It must have been wrenched away from the confusion. She wanted to go back by then to look for it but the guards were adamant on bringing her back to the Red Keep. By the time that she was finally allowed to go back with Loras in tow, they couldn't find the necklace. They searched every nook and corner but it was simply gone. She felt so heartbroken then. It felt like losing Sansa all over again. Loras tried to comfort her but shrugged it off. She merely shut herself in her apartment and broke down to tears for the rest of the day. It was about midnight when she's looking out at the window when she decided to go to the godswood. Every time she couldn't sleep, she always spent her time there.

 

The moment she arrived at the spot, she felt a rush and her whole world stopped. Under the moonlight in their sanctuary, stood Sansa Stark with all her beauty and glory. It almost seemed like the old gods were mocking her viciously by showing her a mirage. A vision that her heart has been desiring for so long to be a reality. She was even trying to rationalize everything and was convincing herself that she was hallucinating. They stared at each other. She didn't dare blink.

 

It was her heart that's telling her otherwise. The way her heart jumped to her throat, the butterflies fluttering in her whole body, the intense rush that she felt, the feeling of warmth, of being alive once again and completeness in her whole being, it all pointed to one thing. Sansa is really in front of her. She noticed then that Sansa's eyes suddenly clouded. She called out her name hopefully but worriedly. Sansa suddenly clutched her head and whimpered in pain. She was so alarmed for Sansa looked like she was in horrible pain and even wobbled. She hastily went near her. Sansa was about to fall when she catches her and hugged her fiercely. The moment she held her in her arms, she broke in to tears of indescribable joy.

 

 

She was jolted out of her thoughts when Sansa suddenly thrashed on her sleep. She was whimpering and murmuring something incoherently while sweating profusely. Horror etched on her face.  
She bolted from her chair and tried to wake Sansa up. It didn't work since Sansa's thrashing and whimpering only got worse. She decided to slip under the covers and hold her in her arms tightly.

  
"Sshh. It's alright. Everything's fine." she soothed while rubbing Sansa's back and arm repeatedly trying to keep her trashing at bay. She even hummed a lullaby. She let out a sigh of relief when Sansa eventually calmed down.  
Sansa cuddled back and buried her face on Margaery's neck. She looked down at Sansa's slumbering face and wiped the sweat that gathered. She placed a kiss on her forehead and traced her face with her fingertips. She felt so contented. Exhaustion enveloped her and didn't realize that she's fallen asleep with a smile on her face for the first time after a long time.

 

  
She was awakened with someone who jerked harshly at her side. She opened her eyes in confusion as she adjusted to the light. It took her a moment before she remembered Sansa. She sat up hastily and their eyes met. Sansa looked so lost. Array of emotions crossed her deep blue eyes. There was fear, wariness and confusion in them. Margaery instinctively reached out when Sansa flinched and slid on the bed backwards. She felt hurt and confused. Why does Sansa seem like she's repulsed? It's not supposed to be like this. Aren't they supposed to have a touching and happy reunion?  
Dread settled on her stomach. Then Sansa blurted out the words that made her heart rip in two.  
"Who are you?" Sansa asked fearfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not satisfied with this. My original work was supposed to be better. *sobs*  
> Anyways, constructive criticisms are welcome. Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

Arya

 

She squinted as the sunlight welcomed her eyes the moment she stepped out of the train. King's Landing is bustling even at lunch time.

"I'm famished! Can we eat now?" Rickon asked excitedly.

"Famished? You've eaten like 2 whole pies for yourself." Bran answered while rolling his eyes.

They threw playful remarks at each other and Robb even joined them. Their parents merely chuckled at the display and shook their heads. Despite the somewhat light atmosphere, she can sense the air of apprehension underneath the facade. After all, the reason for their impromptu trip to the capital is a big mystery.

They were just here because of Margaery's frantic phone call at past midnight with a tone of voice that she's never heard before. She was incredibly glad that she was the one who answered the call. Margaery sounded so weird. If her mother was the one who took the call, she would be worried sick to the bones.

Margaery, after all, was rarely ruffled with anything. The mere fact that she called at such a late hour with an odd tone of voice means something big must've happened. Margaery even literally begged her for them to come to the capital at the earliest time possible. She had to resort at promising her to calm her down. When she inquired what was the problem, Margaery merely said that it's urgent and they shouldn't tell anyone about it. It made her really uneasy and worried.

She then proceeded to wake her parents up to inform them about the call. She downplayed to everyone how Margaery sounded. She didn't want to worry them further.

The early flights were fully booked and the next flight available will be at late afternoon so they just decided to travel by land. No one was in the mood to drive so they decided to board the train. It even took a while because the train was under maintenance.

 

 

When they finally arrived at the Red Keep, Renly was the one who greeted them. He had his usual charming smile but the solemn glint in his eyes made her nervous. Something is really wrong. She knows that everyone noticed it as well. Bran and Rickon stopped their bantering and focused their attention on Renly. Their father and Robb exchanged worried glances with each other. Their mother thinned her lips with a worried glint in her eyes.

"Where's Margaery?" Robb finally asked.

Renly was about to answer when someone called them loudly from a distance. They all looked at the now approaching Petyr Baelish.

"What a pleasant surprise! I'm not expecting you all to be here as well. I was just checking my brothel businesses here and decided to drop by." Baelish said grinning.

Their parents greeted back and made small talks. Renly then offered them to have their lunch at his apartment with Loras. He's prepared for their arrival after all. They all agreed and proceeded to walk inside the Maidenvault. She's noticed how Renly's demeanor changed the moment Baelish approached them. No one seemed to noticed except her. It was so subtle that if it weren't for her intense training at Braavos, she wouldn't have noticed it as well. Underneath his pleasant greeting hides wariness and suspicions. Personally, she's never liked Baelish too. There is something off with him despite the fact that he was one of her mother's longtime and closest friends. And she also felt uncomfortable about the way he looks at her mother the same way he used to looked at... HER. Admittedly, the guy is a creep but he's done nothing harmful or gave any reasons for anyone to be suspicious of him so far. So she's kind of wondering why Renly had a sudden wariness of him.

 

 

Due to Baelish's presence, everyone was left on entertaining him. She excused herself after eating and went out to stroll the city for the mean time. She tried to enjoy her walk to keep her anxiousness in check about the unknown reason of coming here to the capital when she suddenly bumped into someone when she turned a corner.

"HEY! Watch it, dumbass!" a fat boy yelled.

It got her riled up. She's already on edge and this fat oaf is provoking her.

"Listen up, fat boy. I'm seriously not on the mood. If you know what's good for you, scram your fat ass away from my sight and keep your podgy mouth shut!" she hissed threateningly.

The boy widened his eyes. "What the fuck is wrong with everyone?! Why is everyone in such a shitty mood?!" the boy exclaimed petulantly. Then he grumbled as he walked away. "No one beats Alayne though. She's the undisputed scariest person when in a mood. Speaking of which, I have to buy the train tickets. She will raise hell if we can't leave today immediately."

She frowned. The bloody idiot didn't even apologize to her and was spouting nonsense. She decided to go after him to teach him a lesson. The boy was already near the ticketing office when she grabbed his shirt and pulled him in an empty alley.

 

"What do you want now?! I already walked away!" the boy demanded.

"Apologize." she deadpanned.

The boy snorted and looked at her mockingly. They threw spiteful words with each other for quite a while. She's actually enjoying it since it's releasing her tension. She's also noticed that the boy felt the same way as well. She realized then that they were just both on edge and were trying to release tension with each other. Their exchange eventually loses its venom and sounded like a banter as it continues. She's starting to like the boy and she can see that it's mutual. He was about to retort something again when a voice called from behind her.

"Hot Pie!" a somewhat familiar voice called. The boy paled and trembled slightly. She quirked her brows and mouth. She wondered who got her frenemy to react like this. She turned around and all the air from her lungs left her. She froze. Her eyes went wide and her mouth hanged open.

 

How is this possible? It's HER. It's really HER.

The now raven-haired girl with deep blue eyes and high cheekbones stomped her way to them with a blank look on her face. A shiver crawled in Arya's spine as SHE walked past her.

"What are you doing here?! The train tickets are already sold out!!! You knew that the train rides will be limited because of the maintenance. You should've bought it immediately instead of wandering off!! We have to wait for night to come for the next available ride!" SHE exploded with a livid look.

"A-l-Alayne. I was already on my way on buying it. But this idiotic girl refrained me from doing it!" the boy fearfully stuttered and pointed at Arya.

 

SHE looked at Arya and regarded her icily with an impossibly cold tone. "What the fuck are you waiting for? Get your fucking face out of my sight."

Arya gaped at HER stupidly. What on earth is happening? Why does SHE act like they don't know each other at all? Why does it seemed like SHE doesn't recognize her at all? And SHE's also a far cry from the sweet girl she used to know. But it's really HER. SHE may be sporting a different hair color but it's really HER. There's no mistaking it.

 

SHE suddenly widened HER eyes and cursed under HER breath upon seeing something behind Arya. Arya snapped her head behind her in confusion and saw Loras and Jon looking at their direction.

"Sansa!""Arya?" Loras and Jon shouted at the same time respectively.

"Alayne, where are we going?" the boy shouted in alarm behind Arya. She looked at them in time to see that SHE's running away dragging the boy with HER.

 

She stood frozen on her spot as Loras and Jon ran past her. Adrenaline coursed through her after absorbing what's happening. Arya went after HER as well. She can't lose HER again. They can't lose HER again.

She was able to catch up with Loras and Jon. Her training at Braavos certainly paid off. She was a few steps behind them.

"Was that Hot Pie? Hot Pie knew Sansa? And did he just called her Alayne? Oh my fucking gods!!!" Loras panted as they ran faster.

Jon huffed heavily. "To think she's so close to us all this time."

They found themselves on cross roads and they've lost sight of her. How SHE managed it boggles Arya's mind. SHE was dragging the boy along with HER. It should've slowed HER down significantly.

 

"Let's split up. It would cover more ground." Arya ordered as she ran ahead. She doesn't understand a fucking thing at all. SHE's alive. But why is SHE running away from them in the first place? How did this happen? The absurd situation she's dealing with made her pull her hair out in frustration.

"Fuck!!! I really hate you!" she shouted irritatingly as tears from her eyes flowed heavily.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some sort of violence in this chapter, I guess. So, I think a warning is a must. :D

Alayne

 

She was trying to catch her breath as she leaned at an alley to rest for a while. She's managed to lose their pursuers. She already familiarized the roads and alleys well enough to know the hidden shortcuts from the times she explored the city aimlessly. Hot Pie looked liked he's about to have a heart attack opposite her.

"Why did we ran away?" Hot Pie panted as he tried to catch his breath. He was about to say something again when she glared at him. He flinched and instantly shuts up.

"Go back with the others. Tell them to meet at the Blackwater Bay docks. We need to leave the capital immediately. We need to board a ship, boat or anything. Let's just leave. We can go back to Essos for all I care. I'll meet you there within 15 minutes. I need to make sure that our pursuers won't cause any harm first." she ordered.

Hot Pie frowned and confusedly said, "But the ones who pursued us earlier..."

She already brisk away before Hot Pie could finish what he's saying. She couldn't care less what he's about to say. She still have important things to think through.

 

Her heart's been pounding harshly in her chest non stop since she woke up this morning. She's going to develop a heart problem or heart failure if this keeps up. She wore her hood to hide her face as she maneuver around. She purposely walked along with a group of teenagers wearing a hood as well. She needs to blend in with the crowd. A headache is starting at the back of her skull again and she's already exhausted. After all, she spent her time running away and hiding since this morning.

 

She's also exerted her energy on throwing an outburst at the rented place she's staying with the wildlings earlier. Ygritte was even too taken aback to react at first before making frantic calls to Gendry and the others to go back to their place and pack their things so that they can leave. Everyone was so confused when they arrived at their place and was about to bombard Ygritte with questions but instead gawked at the surroundings the moment they saw the disaster. Their meager possessions and everything around the house were vehemently destroyed. Alayne was pacing furiously around the room kicking everything near her while cursing at the same time. Everyone went pale as Ygritte looked on helplessly.

 

 

Alayne actually felt guilty. They had to pay a huge amount for the damages she caused. She also knew that they were worried sick when she didn't emerged from her room this morning and discovered that she was missing.  She knew that they all skipped work just to look for her.

Ygritte even looked like she was about to cry out of relief when Alayne showed up again in their place. It all changed to expression of horror the moment Alayne threw a vase and proceeded to thrash everything near the vicinity and demanded that they leave the capital right that instant.

 

 

Alayne sighed heavily. She have to make it up to them once they manage to leave. She's being such a heavy baggage to everyone. She once tried to run away from them several times before because of that reason. It was during the first few months of staying with them where she's filled with guilt when they consistently showed her kindness despite how difficult she can be. Her attempts for escape failed though because Ygritte and the others were able to stop her every time and even managed to trick her into promising that she will not dare leave their group without their permission. They also used guilt for her to concede saying that their kindness didn't deserved to be abandoned without any word. And so she stayed with them much to the delight of everyone.

But it's times like this that she's overwhelmed with guilt that makes her want to run away all by herself. The promise that she made refrain her from doing so. She had this sense of honor of not breaking it despite how much she wants to leave without any word. She also knew that even if she asked for their permission, they won't allow her to leave. She already tried before.

 

 

 

She slowed her pace and found herself sitting in one of the benches where a lot of people stood by. She mulled over on how her day started and how it ended up this way.

 

 

She actually woke up in a considerably good mood which is kind of a first for her. She was snuggling with a warm and soft body that smelled so good. It felt familiar. It was like she's perfectly where she belonged. She even buried her face further on the neck and inhaled deeply as she smiled dreamily. It took her a moment to realize her bizarre position. She jerked away harshly and sat on the bed facing who she's snuggling. Fear, confusion but an odd sense of... Bliss filled her upon seeing the gorgeous girl. The girl blinked her eyes open.

Alayne's heart pounded erratically as she started to panic. Why on earth was she there? She remembered being at the godswood. She remembered seeing the girl there. So the one who caught her before she lost consciousness was the girl? Wait, she fainted?

The girl hastily sat up then and they stared at each other. How was she supposed to act with her? Fear crept up within her. What if Ygritte was right? What if they knew each other before? Despite what her traitorous heart says and Ygritte's insistence, she can't just trust the girl. What if she's a horrible person that caused her to lose her memories? She ignored the voice in her heart and mind that told her that she's being a stupid girl for trying to think that way.

She also felt like a total arse when the girl looked genuinely hurt and confused when she flinched away when the girl tried to reach out to her. She berated herself for offending the girl. The girl must only be trying to comfort her upon noticing her uneasiness and fear.

She can't think of anything else to say so she asked the question that's been gnawing at her since seeing the girl. She fearfully asked who she was.

The look that passed the girl's face was indescribable. There was a mixture of heartbreak, horror, dread, realization and so much more. It made her nervous.

She looked around the room then to avoid the girl's gaze when her eyes settled on a picture frame on the bedside table. Her eyes went wide and her mouth hanged open as she froze.

It was her. With the girl. It was a picture of them wrapped in each other's arms laughing candidly at the camera. They looked intimate and the genuine happiness etched on their faces made her heart longed for it. Realization hit her. They knew each other. They fucking really knew each other before. She looked back at the girl again. The girl looked pleadingly at her as if asking her something. Before she realized it, she jumped off from the bed and took off wearing her shoes along the way. She heard the girl shouted something. A name. Sansa. Was that her name? The girl called after her again. And again. Well, she's calling after a girl named Sansa.

 

When she emerged to what seemed like a living room, she almost bumped into the two good looking guys who looked worried. They must've heard the girl's shouts. The tall curly brown-haired guy obviously was the girl's brother. They are like twins. A spitting image of each other. A girl-boy version of each other. The girl still was undoubtedly the most gorgeous person she's met even with a brother who looked eerily similar with her.

 

She ran past them and hurriedly looked around for her exit. It was pure luck when someone opened the front door. A broody looking dark-haired guy entered the place with the now discovered front door and looked at them in confusion.

She felt someone grabbed her shoulders then and went in front of her to face her. The girl cupped her face firmly and everything just felt right. They stayed like that for a moment staring at each other. The girl had a searching look in her eyes and was struggling to say something. When the girl finally was about to say something, she panicked and shrugged off from her hold and ran towards the door as she pushed the broody looking guy to the side as she made her escape. She heard them called after her.

The girl's voice reached her ears more. Sansa. She uttered it like it was a piece of herself. Like a precious thing.

 

She ran faster then when she looked back and found that they were all running after her. Luck must be on her side because a horde of Dothrakis was having a drill or something. She was actually amazed after realizing that she was in fact, inside the Red Keep. She managed to outrun her pursuers because the Dothrakis blocked their way. She was able to find her exit from the Red Keep and then expertly maneuver around the shortcuts to go back to the rented place with the wildlings.

 

She was already few paces near the house when a sharp pain throbs at the back of her skull. Then something flashed on her head. A memory. A memory she wishes she didn't remember. A cruel image. A flashback of a part of her missing past.

 

A memory of her sobbing miserably and desperately trying to close her eyes with her hands tied behind her and her mouth gagged as there was a corpse of a girl freshly skinned alive in front of her. The lifeless eyes stared at her in pain and horror. The blood pooled around her with its metallic scent and was soaking her clothes and face as someone forcefully stepped on her back and hands fisted on her hair forcing her to face and lie with the corpse. The maniacal laugh of the man who stepped at her back mocked her. Then the man crouched in front of her with the most cruel and sadistic grin that she's ever seen. She struggled to sit and move backwards as he played with a knife with his hands and suggested to slit her throat with it. He suggested it in such a carefree way with a jovial glint in his eyes. He placed the edge of the knife on her neck and can feel it prick her skin lightly.

Then another flashback. The curly dark-haired guy with eyes so grey it almost looked black that she saw at the Red Keep apartment earlier was talking with the man who threatened to slit her throat along with a bunch of people on a feast.

 

 

The blood on her whole body froze. Her head throbbed sharply and painfully as she threw up in a dumpster. The foul smell of the dumpster made her sick more. She was shaking severely. She then proceeded to the house few paces away from her and unleashed her disgust, frustration and fury in there. She took her time at the bathroom after that freshening herself up and concluded it with shattering the mirror.

 

 

 

Now, she's not really sure what she wants to do. She seriously wants to leave but there is a huge part of her that wants to stay. She's finally found other people who knew her before. People who knew about her past. People who can help her. People who will actually tell her the truth and not deceive her. But what is her assurance that they will not deceive her too? She's been deceived before. She's so terrified. Terrified of everything. From the little bits that she's starting to remember, she can tell that it's better for her to not remember anything at all. It seems like someone tried to kill her before too. Staying in King's Landing must be a terrible idea. If she's starting to remember bits of her past vividly, then there must be something here. She also remembers the most disturbing and disgusting image. Why does it have to be the negative side of her past? Why can't it be a memory of her being happy? Despite of it, she still wants to know her past. She wants to know what really happened to her and why it happened. She wants to know who she was. She wants to find herself.

 

Perhaps the gods were so kind to give her memory loss to protect her. Maybe it was really for her own good. Oh. Who is she kidding? The nightmares that have been hounding her ever since turns out to be memories. If the gods were kind, they would've let her start a new life with a clean slate. A fresh start. A life where she's not hounded of her past.

What a lie. Even if that were the case, she knows that she would still look for her past like what she's doing now. It won't change anything at all. After all, it's human nature to look for one's self. Everything is so cruel.

 

And then she remembered the girl. The girl that made her feel... something. There's also the picture frame. The picture where they were both happy. In fact, while she ran away earlier, she saw several pictures of herself, the girl and of them together displayed around the luxurious apartment. In the pictures, she actually looked happy. They looked happy. Surely her past is not too cruel, right? Maybe the girl can really help her and she can trust her.

But then there's the dark-haired guy who was acquainted with the cruel man. He was at the girl's apartment earlier and also one of her pursuers. So that must mean that they all know each other. What if he was also a part of what's happened to her? What if the girl worked with them as well?

But then there's also the possibility that they don't know a thing at all. Or perhaps the dark-haired guy was the only one who was a part of it and the girl was clueless. If that were the case, then the girl is in danger. But she has a brother who can protect her. But what if the brother is in danger too? She wants to warn and protect the girl. But...

 

She groaned in frustration. There are many possibilities that's running through her head. She needs to decide. She needs to take a risk or run from it.

She's been weighing her options for quite a while. She knows that her comrades must be getting worried. It's past 15 minutes from her estimation.

She decided to head for the docks. She would've to consult her comrades about this. So much had happened for this day alone and she needed their insights. They also didn't deserved to be kept in the dark anyway after being such a total bitch and a heavy baggage to them ever since. They would know what to do. And if all else fails, at least she knows that she had a family with them. That they were a pack.

 

 

She's already near the docks when she saw something that made her hastily hid in a corner.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" she growled under her breath.

There near one of the fancy ships, stood the deceitful worm that's making her skin crawl. Fucking Petyr Baelish. Great. Could this day get any worse? What the fuck is he doing here? How she wished he was the one that she had to poison back at the Eyrie.

The bastard was smiling sweetly with the auburn-haired woman that looked so much like... her. She gaped as she's thinking what this all means. That woman could practically be her mother. They looked so much alike. It was like looking at a future version of her. She gritted her teeth. The woman and Baelish seemed to know each other really well. They were now hugging each other tightly. She balled her fists. Is there some sort of a conspiracy going on? Does this mean that her real family caused her to be in this situation? But what if the woman doesn't know what kind of person Baelish truly is? But what if they were of the same mold? What if they conspired regarding to what happened to her? And who was that woman anyway? Are they really related?

 

She left right there and then seething. She walked hurriedly as she left the docks. Her head's aching like a bitch again. She wants to hit it on a wall. So much is happening for this day alone. It's too much for her to take. She unconsciously took off her hood and tried to massage her temple. She walked aimlessly as she's trying to shrug the pain off and think about what she's going to do. This is not good. She's practically surrounded with potential enemies. Great.

 

She was such in a deep thought that she didn't even realize the danger she's in. She didn't hear the honking of car and the way it speeds towards her. She didn't hear someone called for her.

She only registered it when someone grabbed her waist quickly towards the side of the road and held her protectively. Everything happened so fast that she wasn't able to react at once. And then she was suddenly enveloped in a tight hug. She was being hugged by someone so full of warmth. A familiar sweet floral scent invaded her as her heart started to skip oddly. Butterflies started fluttering in her stomach. She also feels an excitement. Like a rush. She already felt this before. She feels it every time with the... Girl. She knew right then that the one who saved her and currently hugging her is the girl. The chestnut hair confirmed it.

She let the girl hug her as she mulled over what happened. The hug felt nice anyways so why would she complain. It's a comforting hug. And then she frowned. She almost got hit by a car. Then why is she not on a panic mode? And why on earth is she letting the girl hug her? She's supposed to be wary of her! And there's also the issue of the dark-haired guy. And Baelish. Fuck. What the hell is she supposed to do? This girl could save or endanger her further.

The girl ended the hug but continued to hold her by cupping her face. They were alarmingly close. She can literally feel her breath on her face.

"You're not hurt somewhere, right?" the girl asked worriedly.

She can clearly see the genuine worry and relief in her eyes. She looked at the girl blankly. How is she supposed to respond to her? She scowled. Screw it. She took the girl's wrists much to the girl's surprise and she thought she saw a spark of hope in her eyes as she dragged her to an empty alley.

 

 

"You're not one of them, right?" she inquired helplessly as they held each other's gaze. She's suddenly very weary. She just wants everything to be over. If the girl turns out to be an enemy, then so be it. At least a gorgeous girl would get to kill her. She looked at her feet as she continued, "Because if you are and you want to kill me, then please make it fast. I've had enough. You guys obviously didn't succeed before but you have your chance now. All I want is for you to do it yourself and to not bring me to that psychotic cruel man. But if you have plans of torturing me first, still do it on your own. I just don't really want to see that man's face again."

"I would never do that." the girl said so softly it's almost like a whisper. She raised her head and looked at the girl who looked so stricken and heartbroken. She felt a tug in her heart. She felt so stupid. She knows deep inside her heart that the girl would never do that. That she can trust her.

And the girl even saved her earlier and helped her when she fainted at the godswood. And there's also the pictures of them together. Pictures where blissfulness was evident on their faces. Gods. She's really an arse. The girl didn't deserved what she said. But her head's really messed up right now for her to think and say something reasonably. Everything's just so complicated.

"You don't remember." the girl said resignedly with a forlorn look on her face. "Sansa, I.."

"My name's not Sansa." she mumbled unsurely as she avoided the girl's gaze and took a step back. The longer she looks at the girl's face, her urge to cry and hug her gets stronger. She doesn't want to look like an idiot in front of her. She suddenly feels like she wants to run away again.

There was a pause. Then the girl hesitantly took a step towards her. "Then what should I call you then?" the girl asked carefully.

"Alayne. My name's Alayne. Alayne Stone." she answered in a small voice as she settled on looking at the gravel.

"Alayne? You were Gendry's friend?" the girl asked in astonishment.

She snapped her gaze back at the girl's face at that. She frowned. "You knew Gendry?" she asked in confusion. She's starting to relax with that information.

The girl nodded with a hint of relief and hope in her eyes. "Yes. He was my brother-in-law's nephew. I presumed he's mentioned us?"

 

She found herself nodding. If that were the case, then she can really trust this girl. Gendry has always seen to it to talk about his uncle and his extended family with enthusiasm every single day. He constantly talks about how genuine and good people they are. They even provided jobs for them. Add to that, she always felt that she can trust the girl anyway even if she denies it to herself. Her gravitation and feelings towards the girl made sense now.

 

Maybe this was fate. Maybe destiny brought them in this situation. That's right. Destiny must've brought her to the wildlings because even if they didn't know it before, they all have common connections with each other. Aside from the fact that they were homeless and found family with each other, they were all unknowingly connected with the same people from their past. Amazing. Maybe the gods were in fact doing their work. Maybe they really exist and it's their way of helping her.

 

Alayne didn't even realize that she's considerably relaxed with a thoughtful look on her face. The girl took another step closer to her and studied her carefully. The girl was in deep thought as well. She found herself being fascinated by the sight. There is something alluring of the girl's thinking face. She liked it.

 

"I think introductions would be appropriate, don't you think?" the girl finally said smiling at her and offered her hand for a hand shake. "My name's Margaery Tyrell. It's nice to finally meet you, Alayne."

 

She alternately looked at Margaery's face and hand. She's not quite sure what sort of game she's playing but she found herself playing along. She took Margaery's hand with her own and shake it. She felt a shiver run up her spine the moment their hands met. She felt an electric current spread from her fingertips to the rest of her body.

"Well, it's nice to meet you too, Margaery." she found herself saying. She also found herself savoring Margaery's name as she said it. She didn't know why but she found herself smiling back at her.

 

Margaery's face brightens considerably that you would think someone gave her her life back. And for some reason, that's exactly how she feels. As if her previously dark, dull and empty existence ceased to exist. As if her life finally began.


	12. Chapter 12

Ygritte

 

A Stark. A Baratheon. Fuck. She's unknowingly harboring highborn offsprings under her wing. She stared at Gendry incredulously as they stood near one of the ships. She can finally confront him.

"You're a freaking Baratheon and you didn't bother to tell me?"

Gendry sighed. "My father is the Baratheon. I'm not. I'm only a bastard."

"Don't you fucking give me that! Bastard or not, YOU ARE A BARATHEON. Your father is a Baratheon. You have a Baratheon blood. Fuck! What's the matter with you?!" she enunciated angrily.

"It's not like I hid it for a reason. I just didn't find it big of a deal to mention. Besides, you would've found out about it if you've met with uncle. I'm sorry if you feel like I've fooled you again. That's never my intention." Gendry said sincerely.

She sighed and grudgingly nodded as she accepted the apology. She knows Gendry never meant harm anyway. She massaged her temple as she sat beside Hot Pie on the pavement. Gendry followed suit sitting beside her. Silence engulfed them as they observe the surroundings.

"They all thought she's dead." she said matter-of-factly.

"And she's a Stark." Gendry remarked.

"And she literally just told her own sister to fuck off earlier. A very touching reunion." Hot Pie added sadly.

 

Speak of the devil and she will appear, Arya Stark approached them hastily with a deep scowl. "She's supposed to be here 30 minutes ago. Why is she not here yet? Don't you have any means of contacting her? Any ideas where she might be?"

"We honestly have no idea where she is. The rest of our comrades were already looking for her back in the city center as we speak. As for us, we're actually on the lookout if she's within the vicinity. She's the one who instructed us to meet here though so I can assure you that she will show herself here sooner or later. As for contacting her, it's quite impossible. She doesn't have a phone with her." Gendry answered tiredly.

"Why on earth she doesn't have a phone with her?!" Arya yelled at them.

"Because she fancies smashing them so much." she deadpanned.

Arya growled and stormed off angrily. She sighed and stood up. "Hot Pie, stay here and wait for Alayne. Call me if she shows up. I better search around again. She's probably hiding in some dark alley around."

"Yeah. I'll resume my search as well." Gendry said as he stood up.

Hot Pie merely nodded. She and Gendry split up and continued their search.

 

Alayne is a Stark. No. She is Sansa Stark. Crap. She's really having a hard time absorbing all this information. What more for Alayne? What more for her family and friends? Add to the equation, Alayne has memory loss and supposed to be dead. It's quite mind boggling. What the fuck really happened to her?

 

 

When Gendry received a frantic call from Jon demanding where they are earlier, Gendry confusedly told him the address of their rented place. Hot Pie arrived few minutes after that breathing heavily and instructed them to head for the docks as per Alayne's orders. They decided to head for the docks then since they've finished packing and Gendry called Jon about meeting there instead.

Hot Pie also filled them of the events that took place. They were really confused. Was there some sort of a connection between Alayne and Jon? Did Alayne committed a crime that led Jon to pursue her? Was that the reason Jon called? They were really nervous. Gendry was even thinking of ways to save Alayne's arse if she's in some kind of trouble with his other friends.

 

When Jon (righteous moron) arrived with Loras and Arya (first time meeting them) in tow, she literally had her jaw dropped to the floor. Loras Tyrell is the spitting image of Alayne's mystery girl. It makes sense since the girl turns out to be Margaery, Loras' baby sister. What a small world.

She also literally hyperventilated after finding out about Alayne's identity. It was the greatest shock of her life. Alayne is a freaking Stark who was supposed to be dead. She always knew that Alayne may have come from a well off family. It was evident in her impeccable manners and how she talked. It was ingrained in her. But she's not expecting her to be a part of a prominent family like the Starks. She’s also related to Jon. Seven hells. It made her really speechless.

 

After the shocking revelation, they were too stunned to even answer the questions thrown their way. Arya interrogated them like they were all deaf. She was literally shouting at them the whole time but not even that could make them answer. Surprisingly, it was Hot Pie who recovered first and informed them about Alayne's memory loss.

 

The change on Loras and Jon's faces then was admittedly heartbreaking. They looked like kicked puppies dumped on a dumpster. The distress was evident on their faces. Arya, on the other hand, looked like she's ready to kill someone and was thinking of morbid ways to do it.

 

They didn't talk much after that since their focus was on finding Alayne. There were still many things needed to be said but finding Alayne was the priority.

She's actually grateful that she was able to take a break from talking to them. She's suffering from information overload and it's giving her a headache. Alayne is a Stark and Gendry is a Baratheon. _Wonderful._

 

 

 

 

She was rounding a corner when her phone finally rang. It was Hot Pie. They found Alayne. Dread settled on her nerves. They finally found Alayne. Now what?

As much as everyone wants a touching, pleasant and happy reunion, it's really impossible. Alayne can't remember anything. She can't recognize anyone from her past. Add to that, she's a total wreck. She's like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode every single day. Not that anyone can blame her really.

 

Unfortunately, by the way things are going, this supposed to be happy reunion could end in disaster. It's inevitable.

What everyone can do for now is hope and pray to all the gods available that things will not be that bad. Surely the gods will listen, right?

 

 

 

 

 

Fuck the gods. The gods are fucking morons. Why can't they listen when you need them? She knows that things will not be pretty but she's not expecting it to be worse. They were now at the apartment suite at the Red Keep that the Starks will be staying at.

They were all frozen in shock at Alayne's sudden outburst. If there's any consolation, the rest of the Starks are not in the room yet. Well, they still aren't aware about Alayne/Sansa's resurrection anyway. At least, the only people in the room for now are the aware ones. Still, it's not a pretty sight.

 

Alayne was glaring at Jon coldy. Jon was petrified on his spot with confusion and horror.

"I will ask again, WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE??!!" Alayne shouted with venom in her voice while pointing at Jon.

"What? What did I do? Sansa, I'm your cousin." Jon said helplessly.

"Don't call me Sansa! My name is Alayne!" Alayne snapped.

 

Why on earth is Alayne acting like this? What's her problem with Jon? The look on Jon’s face makes Ygritte want to hug him.

She's also seriously very terrified when dear gorgeous Margaery bravely took steps closer to Alayne.

"Sans---Alayne. Jon is your cousin. He's not going to hurt you. You can trust him. I swear." Margaery said in a gentle but pleading voice. Alayne merely dropped her hand and looked at Margaery.

She, Hot Pie and Gendry held their breaths as they anticipated the flare-up. Much to their surprise, Alayne merely frowned and looked at Jon again with suspicion.

"I remember you. You are acquainted with that man." Alayne spat.

"Man? What man?" Arya inquired in confusion.

"The man who made me face and lie with the corpse of the girl skinned alive. He also threatened to slit my throat." Alayne said flippantly in an impossibly cold tone.

Everyone flinched. They all wear similar horrified looks at what Alayne just said. And then she noticed how Margaery's face darkened considerably. She felt a shiver of fear run through her as she sensed an ominous aura from her. Arya was trembling slightly from anger as she balled her fists that made her knuckles turned white. Renly paled and looked like he's about to throw up while Loras looked like he wants to mutilate someone. She can also clearly see the pure hatred in Jon's eyes. Hot Pie and Gendry merely froze out of shock.

"You remembered something?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. Yesterday, it was only how the girl was skinned alive. I kept hearing her screams. Today, I was lying with her on the floor facing her while her blood soaked my face and clothes. And then some psycho suggested to slit my throat." Alayne answered blandly. Her face was terrifyingly blank. She looked so cold and distant. And she had that look. The look of someone drowning in a dark and dangerous place to a point of no return.

 

Ygritte can feel the bile settled in her throat. No wonder Alayne had a horrible outburst at their rented place earlier. She can't imagine how Alayne had to deal with that image. With that experience. Gods. And to think that's only a glimpse of her past. A small part of that experience. What about the whole experience? Fuck. No wonder she's so broken ever since. No wonder she's been so difficult. If she have to remember something, why does it have to be that kind of memories?

 

"I'm going to kill the fucking bastards responsible for this." she muttered in clenched teeth.

 "Count me in." Gendry answered with anger evident in his voice.

"Hell fucking yeah." Hot Pie added with finality.

 

Margaery suddenly went in front of Alayne and hugged her without a care in the world. She, Gendry and Hot Pie gawked stupidly with amazement on how Alayne didn't instinctively shove Margaery and just let herself be hugged. _What on earth?_

 

The hug lasted for quite a while. It was as if the two of them were the only people in the room and the rest of them didn't exist. It's starting to feel like the rest of them are intruding a private and intimate moment. Like they were a bunch of voyeuristic idiots. Well, to be honest, it's really intimate that made her gawked at it all the more.

She can see that Margaery was whispering something to Alayne and somehow, it's working. Somehow, Alayne looked like she’s resurfacing. Like Margaery was some kind of an anchor for her to return from the depths of her dark and horrid memories.

 

She found herself smile slightly. At least, something good is happening. And she just witnessed something magical. No one ever managed to calm Alayne until now. No one ever managed to pull her out of dark abyss until now.

This is definitely a confirmation of her suspicions. She was right. Margaery Tyrell is indeed the key to fix Alayne's broken self.

 

 

Just when they thought things are going to be alright, the door behind them opened.

“Arya, why did you ordered us like some---“ a curly auburn haired guy stopped dead on his tracks and paled as he looked at Alayne with disbelief. Margaery already ended the hug and situated herself beside Alayne. It's obvious that the guy is the older brother of Alayne. He is like a boy version of Alayne very much like Loras and Margaery.

 

He and Alayne stared at each other and he looks like he’s about to cry. Alayne still had this blank look on her face.

“Robb???” a deep voice asked from outside the door. Then a solemn looking and dignified man emerged along with a strikingly familiar woman and two guys. She’s quite sure that it is Ned Stark and his wife, Catelyn along with their other kids.

 

Catelyn Stark is a timeless beauty and looked so much like her children except for Arya who took after the Stark side. Arya even looked like Jon. She found herself being fascinated with the fact that Catelyn looks so much like her lost and resurrected daughter.

 

Ygritte watched with bated breath as the Starks petrified from their spot with mixed emotions. And then Catelyn Stark took reluctant steps towards Alayne.

“Sansa?” Catelyn called in a hoarse voice with her tears threatening to fall.

Alayne looked like she finally snapped out of her haze and looked at Catelyn with wariness and… was that anger?

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Alayne demanded coldly and venomously. It definitely stopped Catelyn on her tracks and looked like she was just slapped by her own daughter. Everyone of them gaped in shock.

Shit. That's not good. What is it now? It's the same tone of voice she used with Jon earlier. No. It's actually worse than Jon. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Alayne, that's your mother." Margaery said in a very desperate and alarmed tone.

"Mother??" Alayne scoffed incredulously. "What kind of mother who endangers her own child?!" she continued in a somewhat challenging and accusing tone.

"What? I--" Catelyn was at a lost for words. She had an indescribable look on her face. There were too many emotions that passed through it. It's obvious that she didn't know if she should be happy first to see her baby alive or should be horrified that said baby looks at her with anger and venom without any clue why.

"Sansa." Ned Stark finally stood beside his wife with a gentle but confused voice.

"My name is Alayne! Fuck!" Alayne snapped again and picked up a vase from the side table and threw it to a wall.

They all flinched and paled at that. Gods. This is so shitty. This is the worst family reunion she's ever witnessed. Alayne practically just yelled at her parents like they were some sort of halfwits and is going to thrash this luxurious apartment.

"I saw you talking to that fucking worm earlier! You were even hugging him!" Alayne ranted in frustration.

"What man?! Who are you talking about?!" Arya snapped back angrily at her sister as she makes her way to their mother's side.

"Petyr Baelish!" Alayne yelled indignantly.

 

Deathly silence engulfed the whole room. Catelyn's face showed a look of realization, betrayal and anguish. Ygritte felt a tide of fury from the people around before rage exploded and everyone started to talk and move at once.

"We need to catch that fucking worm right now!" Loras barked angrily as he stormed off along with Jon and Renly who wore similar livid looks on their faces.

"Fuck! To think we dined with him earlier." Robb hollered in aggravation.

The rest were practically cursing and verbalizing morbid ways on torturing Baelish except for Ned, Catelyn and Margaery. And yes, herself too. Of course, they are furious as well but they all just focused their attention on Alayne.

Alayne was somewhat taken aback with the reactions. She looked lost for a second before she also stormed off out of the apartment. Margaery hastily followed Alayne as well. Catelyn was about to follow them when Ned caught her wrist and stop her. Silence engulfed the room once again as they looked at Ned and Catelyn.

"Ned! My daughter is alive! Our daughter is alive! We need to go after her!" Catelyn pleaded miserably to her husband.

"Cat, I know. I'm at a lost as you are but as far as I can see, we need to give her space. You saw how she reacted earlier. She was too upset. I honestly don't know what's happening but I think we have to wait for her to calm down." Ned soothed in a strangled voice and proceeded to hug his wife as Catelyn sobbed miserably.

 

She felt her heart broken as she watched. Watching how parents crumble is not something to look forward to. How will they react once they found out that their daughter can't actually remember them? She honestly doesn’t know what's going to happen next. She just hopes that everyone will get through it.


	13. Chapter 13

Alayne

 

She's staring at the horizon as the sun starts to set. She's sitting under the shade of the weirwood tree and leaning against it. She's been here for quite a while now. She can feel Margaery watching her.

"It's going to get dark soon. We should go back inside the Keep." Margaery finally broke the silence with a gentle and incredibly sweet voice.

She merely ignored Margaery who was sitting not far from her as she continued to stare at the horizon. She didn't want to go back inside. She didn't know what to do anymore. Everything is just so fucked up.

She was such a mess earlier. Agitated. Pissed. Confused. Afraid. Name it. She felt so much negativity within her. And now that she's finally able to clear her head, she realized how much of a complete arse she really is. Gods. She finally met her family and yet she let her fear, paranoia and anger won over. She treated her own family like pieces of shit and some sort of criminals. Fuck. She even threw a tantrum by throwing that fancy looking vase. That vase looked sinfully expensive. She can't pay for it. Seven fucking hells.

She acted like a brat. She won't be surprised if they don't want her anymore. Perhaps they would disown her now. Judging from the reaction of her supposed to be mother, she's certain that she was the most ungrateful and ingrate of a daughter of all time. She practically accused her mother of being a horrible person and how she sucked at motherhood. She questioned a mother's love for her children. Add to that, she snapped at the man she assumed to be her father. Fucking great.

Now that she thinks about it, she somehow felt that she can trust all the people in that apartment earlier. She was just really stupid and stubborn. She was also just really confused and overwhelmed. Can they blame her for that? She knows that she could've handled it better. But no. She screwed up. She screwed it all up.

Perhaps it's better for everyone if she just leave. She doesn't care about her promise to the wildlings anymore. She would leave without a word. She'll go back to Essos or anywhere as long as it's far from everyone. She will start a new life. She will completely forget about her past and everything even if it's hard. She doesn't care about what really happened to her anymore. All she wants is to leave. No one would want her anyway. She's a wreck. A mess. Too fucked up to deal with.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." she screamed in her head repeatedly.

She pulled her knees up close to her chest as she rested her elbows on her knees. She clenched her fists on her hair and was about to pull it harshly when someone took ahold of her wrists. She glanced up to see Margaery with a worried look on her face.

She reluctantly pulled away from her touch and settled on hugging her knees instead. Margaery sat beside her.

"You shouldn't be too hard on yourself." Margaery said gently.

She didn't answer and merely looked ahead avoiding her gaze. She didn't want to talk. She should've shooed her away from the very start.

There was a beat of silence. At the corner of her eye, she saw that Margaery was looking at her intently.

"You could catch a cold if you stay here longer. The weather is still oddly too cold especially at nights despite the spring season. I think some people considers it a long winter." Margaery said lightly.

Still, she didn't respond.

"We can go back here later if you really want to but we need to bundle you up first. We couldn't risk it even if you are used to the cold. Perhaps take a bite as well? Have you even eaten?" Margaery continued somewhat pleadingly.

She continued to ignore Margaery.

"Please." Margaery whispered so softly.

She felt a tug in her heart but she still refuses to respond. She sneak a glance at Margaery who already looked so desperate and worried. Shit. She's the one who caused that. She's the one causing that.

 

She sighed heavily and abruptly stood up. Margaery followed suit while regarding her carefully.

"Do I have to deal with them again?" she mumbled pathetically.

"If you don't really want to then no. They would understand." Margaery answered gently with a hint of relief in her voice.

"Fine." she conceded. She started to make their way out of the godswood when Margaery suddenly grabbed her wrist again.

She glanced back at her in confusion and unexpectedly, Margaery suddenly enveloped her in a hug. Again. Wow. She's getting a lot of hugs from her for this day alone. Not that she will complain. She didn't want to admit it but she actually loves it. It felt nice and it's comforting her.

 

"You don't have to carry the burdens on your own. I'm here." Margaery whispered.

 

She's honestly touched. She felt a warmth settled in her chest that spread across her whole body. It was a nice gesture really but she didn't know how to respond to that. How is she supposed to respond to that?

 

Besides, she's already a heavy baggage to her wildling friends. Why would she include another one on the list? Margaery is too kind and gentle to be burdened by her struggles. She's too fucked up and Margaery didn't deserve to be exposed to that. Well, Margaery had a preview earlier and that's not even a half of it.

 

What can Margaery do anyway? She can't even help herself. The wildlings had tried several times to help before but they failed. So it's basically useless.

 

She didn't answer. Instead, she hugged Margaery back. She didn't even realize that for the first time, she hugged someone back.

Then it suddenly hit her. Whenever someone hugs her, she never hugs back. Her wildling friends hugs her once in a while but she never reciprocate. She didn't even reciprocate Margaery's hugs earlier. Until now. She didn't even realize that she was crying and clutching Margaery for dear life. Suddenly, all the emotions that she's been keeping and holding back came to the surface. All the frustrations, pain, fear, fury, desperation, guilt and everything came pouring out as she cried miserably.

 

She's crying for a long time. It's already dark and she practically soaked Margaery's clothes with her tears. She buried her face on Margaery's neck as she continued to cry.

Seven hells. She wants to stop. Why can't she stop? This is the first time someone see her break down. She always see to it that whenever she have the crying spells, she's alone.

 

Now, she's crying in front of someone she barely know. Well, they know each other before but she can't fucking remember that. And what's worse, this is probably the worst break down she ever had.

 

Margaery was rubbing her back and whispering soothing words to her ears the whole time. She barely registered the fact that Margaery was clutching her for dear life as well. It suddenly occured to her that they were holding each other so tightly as if their life depended on it. And then it finally occurred to her that Margaery's voice have been shaky the whole time and she's even trembling a little. Like she's crying as well. Scratch that. Margaery is really crying with her. But why?

 

When she finally exhausted all her tears, she sniffled as Margaery pulled back a little to look at her face. They were still holding each other so closely that she can literally feel Margaery's breath on her face.

Nightfall has come and the dark sky and the surroundings was only lightened up by the moonlight and the stars. Under the moonlight, she can see Margaery's delicate features and red-rimmed eyes. The eyes that shared her pain.

 

Margaery reached out and wiped her tears away and she unconsciously did the same to Margaery.

They didn't say anything to each other at all. They held each other's gaze at that moment and for some reason, it's enough. Like there is some sort of an understanding between them. And for the life of her, she felt like the burdens that's been weighing her down suddenly felt lighter. As if someone helped her to unload some of it.

 

She's wondering why. And then she realized that for the longest time, she's been unconsciously waiting for someone to be there for her.

 

Someone who will assure her that she's not alone. Someone who will hold her as she crumbles. Someone who will catch her if she falls. Someone who will hold on to her even if she felt like giving up. Someone who will save her from the depths of darkness. Someone who will be her light. Someone who will be her anchor. Someone who will assure her that even the road gets rough and hard, it won't matter because that someone will always be there for her and will never leave. That it's okay. Because that someone will share all her burdens and help her through it all. Someone whom she can bare her soul and her whole being to. Someone whom she can trust wholeheartedly. She's been unconsciously waiting and searching for that certain specific someone.

 

She didn't know what's with Margaery but she felt like she's the one she's been waiting for. Like she's the one that she's been searching for all this time. Like Margaery is the missing piece of her that will make things better.

 

She honestly didn't know why but she's suddenly very hopeful. Margaery felt like hope. Hope that things will be better. That everything will be alright because she's finally there for her. That Margaery will always be there for her no matter what.


	14. Chapter 14

Margaery

 

A ghost of a smile left her lips the moment the news reached her. She purposely woke up earlier than usual just to personally talk to Daenerys.

"He already acquired multiple bruises and injuries in the first place from Jon and Loras but it was Arya who certainly did a number on him. She literally cut him open. The motherfucker had multiple stitches and lost too much blood because of that. He will be on a hospital arrest for the mean time until he recovers." Daenerys said with satisfaction.  
They were sitting in Dany's office opposite each other.  
She nodded at that. "Arya will not be in trouble, right? What about my brother? Jon?" she asked worriedly. As much as the fucking worm deserved what happened to him, she didn't want the important people in her life to get in trouble.  
Dany shrugged. "Jon and Loras were technically only doing their job. Baelish tried to escape and was even armed with a gun. Of course, they had to capture him at all cost but we both know that they also got carried away. They practically made Baelish a punching dummy. As for Arya, well, Baelish won't just give up easily and even managed to wound an innocent bystander and tried to hostage a child so he can escape. It was Arya who was able to stop him and literally cut the motherfucker with a sword. If it weren't for Loras and Jon, Arya would've cut Baelish into two. Not that I can blame her really. It's a fortunate thing that everything that they did to Baelish had acceptable reasons. So, no, they won't be in trouble."

She sighed with relief as she leaned back on her chair. It has been 5 days since they found out about Baelish's participation on what happened to Sansa. Well, they still don't know exactly how he figured to everything but they already had their theories about it. His participation to what happened to Sansa is a whole different matter, anyway.

Baelish was arrested for entirely different crimes. Apparently, Dany already had Baelish under surveillance for quite a while for the embezzling he's doing to the realm's finances and his plot to assassinate Dany. He's also involved in human trafficking and slavery which Dany absolutely despise. The fact that he was also involved to what happened to Sansa, made Dany explode and push through her plans on arresting Baelish ahead of time. It's a good thing that they were able to gather more than enough evidences by then to arrest Baelish. The evidences didn't only implicate the fucking worm to his crimes but his imprisonment is guaranteed. Varys surely has outdone himself with his investigation.

It took a few days to make the arrest because they had to be discreet about it and made elaborate plans that were highly confidential. Baelish has his own spies and they couldn't afford for someone to tell him about his impending arrest. The fucking worm is shrewd. He would've escape if he is warned. One wrong move and he will slip from their hands.  
Loras and Jon were the ones who lead the arrest at the Eyrie the other night. They arrived in the capital yesterday afternoon and that's when Baelish tried to make his escape again. Unluckily for him, Arya welcomed him and was only waiting for the perfect time to beat the shit out of him.

 

Sansa is in a very difficult situation because of him. It's unforgivable. He was even able to deceive all of them. She will make sure that the fucking worm will rot in dungeon after what he did.

  
"How is she?" Dany asked tentatively.  
"She's doing fine, I guess. I'm just really glad and relieved that she's talking to me. I was really worried when she tried to shut me out. She's still avoiding her family though." she said sadly.  
Dany grimaced. "Yeah. It really sucks for her family. I mean, Sansa's really near and yet out of reach. They didn't even had the opportunity to hug her. I feel really bad for them. Especially for Catelyn. I sort of feel guilty too. I was able to interact with Sansa and even hug her while Sansa didn't even bothered to spare them a small smile."

 

She sighed heavily. She knows that Sansa felt guilty about the outburst that she's done in front of them 5 days ago.  
That's mainly the reason why Sansa is avoiding her family like plague. Sansa is terrified because she didn't know how to face them again and how she will apologize.  
If it weren't for their moment at the godswood, she's quite certain that Sansa would avoid her as well. She's really thankful to all the gods that she was able to penetrate Sansa's walls even for just a little bit. It's a good start.

Earning Sansa's trust would not be a walk in the park. She would've to work for it really hard. It would be a road full of hurdles. It won't matter really because she's determined to win her love's trust. If she succeeds with that, she will win her heart and love again. For now, she still have to help Sansa deal with her struggles and issues. She knows that Sansa would need support now more than ever.

 

"I'm actually waiting for a timing to bring that up with her. I know that she wants to talk to them as well but is just too terrified." she said as she noticed the clock that made her stand up abruptly. "Anyways, I have to go. Thank you for receiving me. I know you're very busy."  
Dany stood up as well and walked to her side. "Not a problem. Anytime for a friend. Besides, I'm glad to take a break. Gods. You would think being a president would give you at least a longer sleep. I've become such an early bird because of this job." Dany finished with a smile.  
She smiled gratefully. "Thank you. Seriously. You've done a lot especially about making sure Baelish is apprehended. I would've help with you guys but I have to be with Sansa."  
Dany snorted. "Are you serious? If you dared lift a finger to help, we would've kicked you out. Perhaps throw you in a dungeon with the assumption that you're a fake and a spy for the motherfucker. The Margaery we know will always prioritize Sansa over everything. It's not a problem at all. You can always trust us to take care of it. Besides, Sansa needed you more now."  
She chuckled a bit. "Good point. Anyway, I should really get going. Thank you again."  
Dany smiled and they hugged. "Yeah yeah. Say Hi to her for me. And please tell Ygritte that using Robb as a means to make Jon jealous is highly effective."

  
She laughed at that and proceeded to make her way to the Maidenvault. Talking to Dany turned out to be longer than her estimation. She didn't even noticed the time. Sansa is probably awake by now. She smiled widely as she hurriedly make her way to Sansa.

 

 

  
Alayne

 

 _She was woken up by someone who gave her featherlight kisses. She smiled dreamily as she opened her eyes to see Margaery smiling fondly at her._  
_"Good morning, my love." Margaery cooed._  
_She giggled delightedly and caught Margaery's lips with her own as they kiss with breathtaking fervor. They started to caress each other's body as she positioned herself on top of Margaery and straddled her. She then started to trail kisses down Margaery's neck and nipped at her earlobe that made Margaery moan sexily.  
"Breakfast in bed?" she whispered hotly. Much to her delight, Margaery shivered with anticipation as she finally pounced._

 

  
She's raggedly breathing as she woke up with a start. She groaned out of frustration. Fuck. Why did she have to wake up? It's such a pleasurable dream. She can feel herself so flushed and hot. And then she froze. Shit. Did she just have a wet dream? Well, technically, it's not really a wet dream since it didn't get to the fun part yet.

Shit. Why is she thinking this way? This is all Ygritte's fault. Ygritte planted the idea to her mind last night by saying that the sexual tension and intense love between her and Margaery is so palpable. That she and Margaery were a couple before and probably fucked like rabbits. And now, she's dreaming about it.  
Fuck. Margaery's been very kind to her so far and she's having perverse thoughts about the girl. It's not fair for Margaery.

 

But what if Ygritte is right? What if they really were a couple before? For some reason, Margaery's presence changed everything. It all made things better for her. Like she's finally starting to be happy. Is that it? Is it because they love each other before? Because they were in love? And she always feel at ease with Margaery. Like Margaery is a part of her. Oh Gods. She's really going to kill Ygritte. Surely Margaery will tell her about it if that's the case, right? She's starting to be nervous and confuse about everything again.

 

She stood up from her bed and looked around the fancy and spacious room. After the not so pleasant revelation of her identity 5 days ago, she was given an apartment suite on the spot to stay at with her wildling friends. The apartment suites in the Red Keep that is commonly called as Maidenvault.  
She initially tried to declined it but Margaery convinced her otherwise and the president herself, Daenerys Targaryen, pleaded with her. The freaking president of Westeros pleaded with her. Who was she to turn it down? Besides, Margaery pleading with an adorable look is too difficult to resist.

 

"Margaery." she mumbled with a smile.  
Margaery must be in the living room now waiting for her again with a sweet smile on her face so that they could eat breakfast together.

Breakfast. _Breakfast in bed._ She unconsciously chewed her lip after remembering her dream again. For some reason, she feels like that it wasn't really a dream. It was like a memory. A pleasant memory. It's so vivid it's like a memory. Shit. The room is suddenly unbearably hot. She hastily went to her bathroom to have a very very cold shower.

 

When she emerged on the living room, she can't help the pang of disappointment and sadness when Margaery wasn't there. She's been too used of Margaery waiting for her everyday. Why is she not here today? She also noticed that the whole apartment is very quiet save for the raised voices in the kitchen. She checked the kitchen to see Ygritte and Gendry arguing about the last slice of pie. They stopped when they noticed her.  
"Morning, Alayne!" they greeted simultaneously but then glared at each other after.  
"Where's everyone?" she asked in confusion.  
"Hot Pie went on an errand with Arya. The rest went out early so that they could attend Jon's training." Gendry informed.  
"Yeah. The righteous moron managed to convince them that the Night's Watch training is one for the books. Funny how they all believed that considering that we managed to outrun the Night's Watch during my escapades." Ygritte said haughtily.

She unconsciously fidgeted after hearing Arya’s and Jon's name. Her supposed to be sister and cousin.

Ygritte and Gendry seemed to noticed her discomfort as well and tried to change the topic.  
Ygritte cleared her throat. "You want to eat breakfast?"  
"Yeah! We have lots of food here." Gendry chimed in.  
She just shook her and dejectedly went back to the living room and situated herself in the far corner. She has somehow lost her appetite. Her day already felt bleak. What gives? She sat on a chair and gazed out of the window.

  
"She's going to be here soon. Maybe she also have to run some errands first. There's no need for you to mope." Ygritte suddenly blurted out.

She turned her head around to see Ygritte and Gendry join her in the living room with knowing looks. They were each holding a plate with a pie as they settled on the couch. Apparently, they decided to split it. She just raised her brow questioningly and resumed on gazing out the window.

 

The sound of television filled the room as Gendry and Ygritte decided to watch a documentary about Daenerys Targaryen and her achievements. They made awed comments once in a while when a knock on the front door distracted them.  
Ygritte ordered Gendry to get the door. A moment later, Ygritte shrieked excitedly.

  
"Good morning!" Margaery's voice dripped like a very sweet honey across the room.  
She suddenly perked up with that but kept on staring out the window. As much as she wants to see Margaery immediately, she didn't want to look like a dog wagging her tail as her master arrives.

  
"Hey Margaery! Where were you? We missed you gracing us with your presence so early in the morning." Ygritte blabbered.  
"You mean you missed the food that she always bring." Gendry deadpanned.

  
Margaery giggled as Ygritte and Gendry threw insults to each other. She felt exhilarated as she heard the laugh. All the more when she somehow felt that Margaery was looking in her direction.

Much to her embarrassment, Ygritte suddenly chose to throw her under the bus.  
"You know, a certain someone was reeeaaaally disappointed of not seeing you. You see, she refused to eat breakfast without you and decided to mope at a window." Ygritte singsonged mockingly.

  
She felt herself flushed as she instinctively turned her head around to glare at Ygritte coldly.

Wrong move. She's very mortified to see Margaery's very amused and thrilled look.  
Gendry and Ygritte guffawed loudly as they hastily ran out of the apartment leaving her and Margaery alone. She's really going to kill Ygritte one of this days.

Margaery raised her brow with eyes full of mirth. She felt herself flushed further.  
"I'm absolutely famished. You won't mind joining me for breakfast, right?" Margaery inquired.  
"I--I'm not hungry." she stammered as she resumed on gazing out the window. Great. She feels very awkward now.  
Margaery walked to her side and grabbed her hand. "Nonsense. You need to eat as much as I do."

She didn't much have of a choice as Margaery dragged her to the kitchen. She can't help but smile a little as they were holding hands as they walked.

"I had an early meeting with Dany and kind of lost track of time. I didn't expect it to be longer than I anticipated. Sorry about that." Margaery explained.  
She frowned and started to rant. "You don't really need to explain yourself. It's not even your responsibility to be here first thing in the morning. You don't even have to eat breakfast with us. We understand that you have a life. You probably have many responsibilities awaiting for you. You've been wasting too much of your time just by spending it with me."  
Margaery made a noise of disapproval. "Who says I'm wasting my time with you? I'm actually having the time of my life. I'm living again." Margaery finished so simply.  
She's suddenly very confused. It was as if she missed something. Like Margaery told her something really important and she didn't hear it. Margaery was also looking at her earnestly. What is it?

 

  
They ate their breakfast making small talks. Well, it's Margaery who's doing most of the talking and she just gives her input once in a while. She was too busy staring at Margaery and is completely enthralled.

 

When they finished eating, they settled on the couch.  
"Eating breakfast here has always been very satisfying. But I guess I needed to be really on time from now on." Margaery said in a teasing tone.  
It puzzled her. "Why is that?"  
"Well, I don't really want to disappoint someone. You see, I was told that a certain someone was really disappointed and decided to mope and rejected breakfast without me. Was that true?" Margaery teased mercilessly.  
She splutteringly denied it and blushed furiously. She's definitely going to kill Ygritte.

  
Margaery laughed delightedly. Even if Margaery was laughing at her, she didn't feel insulted at all. Margaery was actually laughing fondly at her.  
"Some things never change." Margaery said so softly.  
She didn't really know what Margaery meant by that but she found herself smiling at her. She noticed that Margaery smiled more brightly and looked like she just opened a new gift.

 

"By the way, where is everyone? It was only you, Ygritte and Gendry when I got here earlier." Margaery observed.  
"Hot Pie was on an errand with Arya while the rest attended Jon's training." she reluctantly said as she squirmed.

  
Margaery gave her an understanding smile. That smile. That smile always make her feel better. It was like an assurance. She suddenly felt the courage that she's been gathering for the past few days. She's suddenly ready to face them again.

 

"Margaery? Can I ask you something?" she started nervously.  
Margaery gave her a questioning look. "Sure."  
She hesitated for a second before relenting. "My family. Do they still want to talk to me?"  
Margaery looked genuinely surprised and a bit confused. "Of course they want to talk to you. Why would you think otherwise?"  
"Well, after what I did..." she trailed off as she dejectedly settled her gaze on the floor.

Margaery suddenly kneeled in front of her and took both of her hands. Margaery was looking up at her while rubbing gentle circles around her knuckles.

"It's alright. They don't hate you at all. They can never hate you. They were in fact waiting for you to be ready to face them again. I know you've noticed them for the past few days. If they didn't want to talk to you, do you think they will still be around?" Margaery said in an assuring voice.

 

It's true. She noticed them lurking around the hallways every time. As if they were living there and were only waiting for her specifically. Especially that woman. Catelyn. They were all looking at her with affection and longing. It made her all the more guilty. After the mess 5 days ago, she desperately avoided them and refused to meet their gazes since.

 

Despite how shitty she acted with them, she never saw any hatred or disapproval from them. Everyone except Arya perhaps. Arya looks at her with a hint of disdain and frustration although she feels like it's not really directed to her but on the situation in general.

She took a deep breath. "I think... I think I'm ready to face them again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. Writing sexy scenes is way much harder than I thought. I have a clear image in my head but it's really difficult to put it into words. :)  
> I deeply apologize if it's totally lame.  
> And for the hundreth time, thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

Loras

 

He enveloped his sister in a forceful hug. Margaery tried to fight him back but he stood his ground.

"We will find her. I promise." he determinedly proclaimed.

Margaery sniffled as she finally sagged on his arms.

"I can't lose her again, Loras." Margaery said brokenly.

His heart is breaking further for his little sister. Margaery rarely shows herself like this even to him. And to see her like this? He feels utterly useless and helpless.

"What if something bad happened to her? What if this time she will really be gone for good? I don't think I'm going to survive the pain this time, Loras. Not again. I can't.." Margaery continued agonizingly and sobbed.

He hugged her tighter. "You're not going to lose her again. She's perfectly fine. Do you understand?" he murmured assuringly.

 

He pulled back a little after a while and cupped her face. He wiped the tears away and looked at his sister intently. Margaery's eyes had gone puffy and red from crying. Terror and sorrow evident on her face.

"We will find her before the day ends. You need to calm down and clear your head." he told her gently and kissed her temple.

Margaery closed her eyes and nodded. He gave her a few minutes to compose herself before they went out of the private office. Margaery proceeded to the car while he left instructions to the security personnels in-charge.

 

 

They picked Arya up from one of the buildings at Flea Bottom.

"Where are we headed to next?" Arya inquired immediately as she settled on the backseat of the car.

"I honestly don't know. Got any ideas? We just came from the last Night's Watch headquarters. They haven't got any leads too." he sighed heavily while looking at Arya from the driver's seat.

"I don't know where to look anymore. We already check every corner of the capital. Even half of the Watch is deployed just to look for her!" Arya said visibly annoyed then grudgingly continued, "At least she's not on a morgue or a hospital."

Margaery visibly flinched at that with an unreadable look on her face. He reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"Sorry." Arya mumbled.

He looked back at her again and saw the guilt and remorse etched on her face. He smiled understandingly at her.

"The cliff. We should go to the cliff." Margaery suddenly blurted out beside him.

He and Arya exchanged worried looks. They know what cliff she's referring to.

"Why there?" he asked carefully.

"I don't know. Where else should we go? You've said so yourselves, we've searched everywhere. From the docks, hospitals, terminals and so on but she's not there. Maybe she's outside of the city or something." Margaery said desperately.

"Let's go to the cliff. It's worth a shot. It's not like we have somewhere else to be anyway. Nightfall will come soon." Arya resignedly approved.

He sighed heavily as he started the car again.

 

 

 

Sansa has... _disappeared._ They've been searching for her the whole day. They have no idea where she is. He is praying to all the gods that she is alright. That she was just sightseeing or something. He's seriously very terrified that something unpleasant happened to her again. He's just trying his best not to let it show because he needed to be strong for Margaery. His sister is on the verge of falling apart.

 

This is very much like an echo of what happened almost 3 years ago. Sansa disappearing and them at their wits end looking for her. Later on, they were all deceived to believe that she's dead. A huge part of them died with her that day. That was a painful memory and experience that he wishes not to remember. But for some twisted fate, it's happening all over again. _Fuck it._

 

 

 

He was just having breakfast with Renly in their apartment this morning when Margaery came banging on the door. The moment he saw his sister completely distraught, he automatically knows that it has something to do with Sansa. He was right because it turns out that Sansa's gone. She was not in her room or anywhere in the Red Keep.

 

Margaery made it a habit to spend her time with Sansa every single day since finding out that she's alive. She's in Sansa's apartment first thing in the morning until Sansa retires to her chambers in the evening. She even took a leave from all her responsibilities just so she can be with Sansa with no interruptions. They all understand that and no one complained. In fact, they were really overjoyed to see that she's starting to be the Margaery that they all knew. She's living again. She's starting to be happy again.

 

 

This morning though, Margaery already had a feeling that something was not right. When Sansa didn't emerge from her room the usual time, Margaery hastily checked the room and that's when she discovered that Sansa's gone. That set Margaery and the wildlings off on a state of panic. Margaery then went to search for Sansa around the Red Keep and the gardens but didn't find her. She had no choice but to tell the Starks about it and begged for his help.

The Starks, as expected, took it really bad as well. Even Catelyn got hysterical.

He comforted his sister the whole time as he tried to fight back his own worries and fears. Margaery needed an anchor more than ever and he needed to be stronger for her.

 

 

According to the guards in-charge around the Red Keep, they indeed saw Sansa leaving around dawn. They didn't bother her since they didn't think something was wrong. Besides, Sansa had been very horrible these past few days. She had this very murderous look and ominous aura that even Dany and Arya were wary of her.

 

The wildlings already warned them about it actually. It is as what they call the "shitty mood". They strongly advised them to not piss Sansa off. They even forbade everyone on talking to her unless it was Sansa herself initiated it. Since they were a bunch of ignorant fools, they initially ignored the advice and stupidly tried to help. They all tried to talk to Sansa and fuss over how to alleviate her mood. That was _until_ Sansa threw an epic outburst. He was genuinely shaken with it until now. He didn't expect ever that Sansa had it in her. It was a far cry from the sweet girl they all used to know. When the wildlings first warned them about it, he just thought that they were just exaggerating.

During the Stark reunion, Sansa was visibly upset that time. He thought that was the outburst that everyone was talking about. Unfortunately, it was nothing compared to the real outburst.

 

Since then, they avoided Sansa like a plague and gave her space for the past few days that she's in a shitty mood. No one dared bother her. No one could talk to her properly anyway. Everyone except Margaery.

Even the wildlings were shocked to see that Sansa didn't shooed Margaery away. She let Margaery accompany her and even responds to her once in a while.

 

He found it really endearing. It was sweet actually. Everyone felt hopeful upon seeing it. That even if Sansa can't remember Margaery and their love, she unconsciously recognizes it. Her heart recognizes the person she trust and love the most in this world. The person who made things better for her ever since. That even if she's in a horrible phase and mood without any memories, that same love made things better for her still. It made them believe that things will be better eventually. That even without memories, Sansa's heart will remember everything.

 

He's genuinely really happy for them. He witnessed how their love blossomed and now he's witnessing that it's enduring despite the odds.

 

Growing up with Margaery, he always believed that she's not capable of loving someone. Sure she loves her family fiercely and wholeheartedly but not the romantic kind. The kind of love where it damned all logic. The kind of love where she will give her life in a heartbeat to someone. The kind of love where she will give up everything at the drop of the hat. The kind of love that is pure, real and selfless. The kind of love where she will bare her soul and give her heart wholeheartedly to someone. She was too pragmatic for that.

But boy he was wrong. He was so wrong. Because the moment Sansa Stark came in to her life, he saw that his pragmatic sister have so much love to give. She loved like she never loved before. She found the meaning of life. She found her soulmate. She found the kind of love that will transcend time and a different lifetime.

He witnessed how love changed his sister. He saw how she truly started to live and found genuine happiness. He then knew that for someone like Margaery, falling in love happens only once in a lifetime for her. She will never love again. Period. There all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice. That is especially fit for his sister.

 

When Sansa "died" before, he had the hopeless wish that his sister find love again. For her to find happiness again. But he knows it's just that. A hopeless wish. An impossible one. Even if Margaery tried to find love again, it will never be the same and enough. She will never be able to give herself whole to someone again. Margaery knows that as well that's why she never tried and will never try. It will be both unfair for her and for the other person as well. She will be fooling herself and hurt someone else in the process.

 

When Sansa turned out to be alive, he was very hopeful and elated. _His sister will be happy again. The Starks will be whole again._ But then again, he should know better. It's not that simple. Everything is just so fucked up. Especially now.

 

 

 

He can still vividly remember Margaery's reaction after she was informed about Sansa's horrible fate. _About Sansa's "death"._ She didn't cry. Not a single tear. She merely walked away. It was if it didn't bothered her at all but he knew better. It was evident in her eyes. Her eyes that lost all its light. The eyes of someone broken and who had died inside.

She didn't dared mourned for the whole 2 months. She exerted all her focus and efforts on seeking justice. On making sure that the motherfuckers responsible for Sansa's "death" were apprehended. Fucking Baelish got away that time but at least he got what he deserved now.

 

He knew it took Margaery's all willpower to stood her ground for that long at that time before she finally crumbled and surrendered to her pain and grief. She locked herself in her apartment for a month after that. They visited and tried to talk to her everyday. She wouldn't open the door and didn't budged at all so they settled on leaving notes for her along with the food and things that they left at her door every single day of that horrible month.

When she finally reemerged, she acted as if everything's alright. She kept up appearances and wore an impenetrable mask. She went back to her usual self and routine and yet everything is never the same. _She was never the same._ He knew that she cries herself to sleep every night since then. Maybe she stopped now that Sansa's alive though he suspects that she still cries once in a while. After all, Sansa is so broken and he knows that Margaery wants to help her desperately. Margaery shares Sansa's struggles and pain.

 

It was during Sansa's first death anniversary that Margaery broke down in front of him for the very first time. He knew that she only let the Starks, more specifically Catelyn, see her broken self before that. It was a heartbreaking sight. He felt so useless and helpless as his sister cried her heart out. He hugged her like he was trying to save her and be her anchor. He felt her unimaginable pain. The grief of someone losing a part of her being. A pain of no return.

He then knew why she tried to keep her grief from them, from the Tyrells. Because she knew that if they ever saw her like that, it will break them too. The Starks were already broken as it is and there was no point in breaking their own family too. Despite her impenetrable mask and not seeing her grieving self, their whole family and close friends knew how broken she really is. Eyes are the windows to one's soul and her eyes lost its life. They just let her cope on her own way and give their relentless support. He was just too insistent and they were the closest ever since that made her break her walls in front of him.

She's gotten better as time passed. She's able to move on. She's able to smile genuinely and be happy for a few moments but there's always a sadness with her that will never ever fade. All because she lost Sansa.

 

 

He wants to resent Sansa. He wants to hate her from the every fibre of his being. For being the cause of so much pain to everyone. For being the sole reason his sister felt excruciating pain. For being the reason Margaery was broken. For having the audacity to "die" without any warning. He wants to detest her so much. But how can he do that? How can he possibly hate someone who is probably the most broken person he's ever met? How can he hate someone who have been through so much and can't even remember who she was? How can he hate someone who made his sister whole and happy? How can he hate someone who was the sole reason his sister really lived? How can he hate someone his sister love more than anything in this world?

 

No matter how much he tried, he can't hate her. He loves Sansa Stark. His sister loves Sansa Stark. She is a friend. A _family._ He mourned her deeply before and even seek vengeance and justice to those responsible to what happened to her. He loves her enough to be terrified and worried that she's nowhere to be found right now. He loves her enough that he will find her no matter what it takes. And he will _do_ whatever it takes to find her again.

 

 

Arya

 

She froze on her seat as Margaery hastily went out of the car to go to Sansa. She didn't know what to make of this. _What the actual fuck is she doing here?!_ It took about half an hour before they arrived here. In this _cliff._ This _fucking cliff_ where they were informed about Sansa's "death".

Loras froze on the driver's seat as well. She went out of the car to approach Sansa and Margaery. Sansa was standing by the railings while Margaery was hugging her tightly.

When she got closer, she suddenly wants to turn away and regretted why she approached them. She didn't want to see this. She didn't want to see Sansa's vacant eyes staring at nothingness. The look of someone so broken and lifeless.

"Sansa." Margaery called in a hoarse voice.

She can feel her ire once again.  She wants to mutilate and kill Baelish right now. She wants to burn the Lannisters alive. She wants to flay the fucking Boltons. She wants them to pay over and over again.

Loras hitched his breath as he stood beside her. Margaery was trying her best to get Sansa to respond to her.

"Sansa, we need to go home. Please." Margaery pleaded in a very small broken voice while holding Sansa's hand.

Sansa _finally_ turned to look at Margaery and stared for a beat as if trying to register who Margaery is. Then Sansa turned to look at her and Loras as well.

To their relief, Sansa walked with them to the car. She sat beside Sansa while Margaery sat on Sansa's other side. The car ride home was really quite. Sansa still refuses to talk and still had a vacant look in her eyes.

 

 

 

 

"Is there any way that we can convince her to see a maester? A therapist? She's showing signs of depression. It's obvious she's suffering from a trauma. There's also the issue of her memory loss. We need to address it. We need help. She _needs_ help." Bran worriedly suggested as they settled in their own apartment for a meeting.

They practically had to drag her mother and Margaery to leave Sansa's apartment to talk in private. The wildlings promised and assured them that they're going to guard Sansa and make sure that she's not going anywhere.

"I know. I also noticed that she's having headaches once in a while. She even had a headache before passing out when I first saw her again at the godswood. I tried to persuade her to see a maester for that but she just snapped at me. It's a touchy subject for her. I don't think we can actually convince her to see one unless we force her into it." Margaery forlornly said while looking at the front door.

If it weren't for Loras holding his sister down, she's pretty sure Margaery will bolt out of the room to return to Sansa. Her mother was on the same state as well since her father was holding her mother down.

"Does that mean that she also have some kind of a trauma with maesters?" Rickon asked thoughtfully while seething at the same time.

Renly awkwardly cleared his throat. "I think fucking Petyr Baelish had something to do with that."

"What?!" she snapped angrily with everyone. She really is going to mutilate that fucking worm.

Renly sighed as he bitterly explained. "Gendry have mentioned that Sansa used to tell them before that the Eyrie is the home of deceitful worms. That it was consisted of maesters and people who poisoned her head and fed her with lies. That the so called Knights Of The Vale are nothing but murderers and accessories to crimes. Sansa didn't tell them exactly what she meant by that but I think everyone can tell that Baelish ruined her further."

"So basically, Littlefinger took a girl with memory loss and trauma and decided to mess with her head further?" Robb deadpanned then suddenly exploded with, "Are you bloody kidding me?! That motherfucker fucked everything! He practically made Sansa worse! I'm going to fucking murder him if I get my hands on him."

Everyone started to rant and and threw curses to the wind.

"Enough!" their father suddenly interrupted.

They all looked at her father and can clearly see the raw pain, hatred and thirst for vengeance and blood in his eyes.

Ned Stark is rarely perturbed with anything. At least it rarely shows on the outside anyway. This is one of those rare times. Her father's turmoil is so evident on his face that it made her uncomfortable.

"What's done is done. Even each one of us took turns on killing Baelish it won't change anything at all. It won't help Sansa. We will deal with him some other time. For now, we have to focus on how to deal with Sansa's situation." her father tiredly said.

 

As much as she still wants to kill Baelish, her father is right. They need to deal with Sansa. They need to focus on her.

When Sansa faced them again a few days ago, they all thought that things are going to be better. After all, Sansa was giving them a chance. It started really well actually. They all took turns on hugging her. Sansa even gave them a small smile and tried to be extra nice to their mother and Jon. It made sense since Sansa was particularly shitty with them the first time. It went fairly well until it suddenly blew up on their faces. They were just showing her a family album fresh from Winterfell that Brienne delivered. Sansa was staring at a family picture that suddenly made her upset and walked out on them. _Just like that._ Sansa freaking walked out on them without any word. Even Margaery couldn't figure out what went wrong. And the day after that, Sansa went on a beast mode. She's been very horrible to everyone and was particularly in a shitty and sour mood the whole time. It's been like that since then for the past few days. _Until now._ Sansa decided to disappear on them and for the life of her, she can't understand why the fuck Sansa was on that cliff. Add to that, Sansa went from a hyperactive monster to a sudden lifeless doll. Even the wildlings were really worried and shaken. According to them, they haven't seen Sansa in that state ever since _except_ when they first met her. _Fuck._ It only means one thing. The wildlings saved Sansa before. If it weren't for them, Sansa was as good as dead by now.

 

 _Yes_. Dealing with Sansa will be the main priority. After all, Sansa is too unpredictable and so messed up right now. They need to help her sister. Sansa needs them now more than ever.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some sort of a bit of violence for this chapter so I'm leaving a warning again.  
> And I was kinda hesitant of uploading this chapter because it's also kinda angsty considering it's Christmas season. But, whatever. Lol. Happy reading!

Alayne

 

"How are you, Alayne? Or is it Sansa? It's been a long time. Did you use any other names after you escaped?" Petyr Baelish was grinning across from her. "It's a shame you dyed your hair. I also seriously believed that you're dead by now. I thought you were too lost and broken to survive on your own. I guess I was wrong."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at Baelish interestingly. They were now sitting alone in the private visitor's room of Breaker of Chains Dungeons.

She particularly requested that their talk would be private. She only wanted this talk to be between her and Baelish. She knows that everyone is watching from a monitor outside but can't hear anything. She agreed to be watched since it's the protocol but not for anyone to eavesdrop. It's her specific request and everyone reluctantly agreed to it.

 

The fucking worm is covered with bandages and bruises. His complexion was sickly pale. He was also moving with great care before he was sat down across from her.

She heard a rumor that he was cut open and it seems like it was really true. She can't help the satisfaction she felt from it.

It's only been a _fortnight._ A fortnight since he was arrested.

 

"You know, I never thought I will ever be happy seeing you again. But looking at you now in this condition, you definitely made me happier compared this last few days." she quipped.

He smirked at her. "And I never thought I'm going to say this but I'm glad I'm in a dungeon. Everyone is out for my blood that being in a dungeon is the safest place to be."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I heard you're supposed to be on a hospital arrest. Why are you here now? It's obvious you haven't recovered yet. Will your escape plan work here? How many people are you planning to kill? How many lives are you planning to destroy again?"

Baelish laughed bitterly. "I should be asking you. I was just trying to recover from my wounds in the hospital when your dumb brothers tried to kill me in my room 2 days ago. I'm under the impression that something happened to you again and they were blaming me. I requested to be transferred since I'm a lot safer here. At least here, the guards are not lenient and stupid enough to let people with grudge to come near me without my permission. I have the choice whether to accept a certain visitor or not. I can recover in peace. Your bitch of a sister almost cut me into two. I'm afraid your dumb brothers are planning to finish the job and tear me apart."

Her eyebrows shot up at that. It was Arya who cut Baelish open? And her disappearance 2 days ago prompted her brothers to lose their cool then?

"Oh? That's nice to hear. Too bad they didn't get to kill you." she paused. "On second thought, I'm glad they didn't succeed. Death is too easy. You don't deserve that. You deserve to suffer and have a slow and painful death. Where's the fun if you die immediately?" she added thoughtfully.

Baelish studied her carefully. "Alayne. Yes, you are still Alayne. You're still that broken girl who woke up at the Eyrie with no memories."

She quirked her brow and stared at him coldly. "Why?"

It's just one word and one question but a loaded one.

Baelish looked at her for a moment and smiled. "Did you know that your mother visited me at the hospital a week ago and asked that exact question?" he chuckled. "I always admired your mother, you know. But that particular day made me appreciate her more. For someone like Catelyn who loves her children so fiercely and protectively and to just look at me, a person who betrayed her and endangered her child, just looked at me straight in the eyes with great restraint and asked me just one question, showed that she's indeed a very strong and unique woman. She didn't try to strangle me like I expected her to. She just looked at me straight in the eyes full of anguish and betrayal and asked why I did what I did. Did you know what I told her then?"

She didn't respond and looked at him blankly.

"I told her that if ever I'm going to confess, I want to confess to Sansa Stark. After all, she's the unfortunate collateral damage and the one who got caught in the middle of the crossfire." Baelish paused and continued mockingly. "But what to do now? You're not Sansa Stark. You're Alayne Stone."

She tapped her fingers on the table and hummed. "You love her."

Baelish raised his brow, intrigued.

"My mother. You love her. That's why you didn't want to confess in front of her. You're a pathetic coward who can't endure how my mother looks at you with hurt and disgust. It made you dismissed her by saying that you wanted to confess to her daughter instead." she realized amusedly.

Silence engulfed the room before Baelish relented. "Very well."

 

And then he told her _everything._ He told her every atrocities he committed, his fucking motivations, goals, how he orchestrated everything that happened to her and so on. _Everything._

 

She should be happy. All her questions have been answered now. Isn't this what she wants? To know what happened to her and why it happened? How come she felt numb? How come she can't feel any satisfaction from it? Why is it she's still not better? Why is it she still felt... empty?

 

She looked at Baelish for a while and did the strangest thing. She started to giggle. She giggled until it turned into a full blown laughter.

Baelish looked taken aback and looked at her like she just lost her mind. Perhaps she really just lost her mind. Funny thing is, this is probably the first time that she ever laughed. She can't remember any instances that she laughed like this. She continued laughing and realized how stupid she really is.

 

For the longest time, she thought that finding out and knowing the whole truth will make her feel better. That the moment she finds out what happened to her and knowing who she really is, will help her recover everything she's lost and move on. That it will fix her and she can finally be happy. That it will make her whole again and find herself. She's really stupid and naive. She should know that it's not that simple. Life just doesn't work like that.

She finally bitterly accepted the harsh fact that she should've realized a long time ago. That things will never return to normal for her again. That she can never be the person who she was before. _She can never return on being Sansa again._

And of all people, it was fucking Baelish who actually helped her accept that reality.  Her life is such a big and cruel joke.

 

 

When her laughter finally subsides, she composed herself as Baelish looked at her astutely.

She curiously looked at him. "You said earlier that you wanted to confess to Sansa Stark. Then why did you confess to me? You were right, you know. I'm Alayne so why the fuck did you confess?"

Baelish looked at her with a hint of melancholic gleam in his eyes. "I thought that Sansa will probably never return. And it appears to be I was right." He smiled at her somewhat with a hint of regret and shame. "I've done many terrible things as you know by now. I never regret most of the things that I've done but what happened to Sansa was probably one of the rare things I regret the most. I never meant to harm and endanger her. She's the daughter of the woman I love. She could've been my daughter if things turned out differently. I never meant to hurt Cat so deeply and yet I did. I decided to go through with everything since it's already done and I did everything to preserve my interests. Sansa was just an unnecessary and unfortunate collateral damage. It's a pity, really. But it was already done. Since she's not coming back, the least that I can do is to confess to the person who used to be her."

 

She felt a bitter smile spread on her lips. Everything that happened to her, it's all because of man's greed and ambition. Of people's fucked up interests. The world is such a cruel place to live.

"You wanted everything." she said matter-of-factly as she stood up. "And now you've got nothing." she finished as she went out of the room and slammed the door shut.

 

 

 

 

_"Sansaaa... Where are you?" Ramsay singsonged as she cowered behind a huge dumpster in a dark alley and covered her mouth as she tried hard not to make any noise. "Come out now. You don't want to end up like Jeyne, right? You're too pretty to be skinned alive. Perhaps I would cut each of your finger and send it to your family and to your beloved Tyrell bitch if you don't come out now." Ramsay continued and laughed maniacally._

_Her tears flowed heavily as she closed her eyes and prayed to all the gods that someone would rescue her._

_Unfortunately, the gods had probably turned their backs on her as she heard footsteps nearing and someone grabbed a fistful of her hair._

_"Well, well, well." Joffrey sneered. "Hey, Ramsay! I found our pretty plaything here!" Joffrey called and forcefully dragged her as he laughed amusedly._

 

_"Aren't you a persistent one? How many times do I have to tell you that you can't escape?" Ramsay mocked as Joffrey strike her that made her dizzy and spit blood._

_They both laughed as sirens can be heard in the distance._

_"Bloody fucker! What the hell?!" Joffrey exclaimed._

_Meryn Trant hastily went to them as he reported in panic. "Littlefinger called. It seems like fucking Clegane sold us out. Lords Tywin and Roose have been fatally wounded on a shootout. Lady Cersei is on the run."_

_Ramsay hissed angrily and sarcastically added, "Littlefinger must be so worried. If we go down, it will be his end as well. He must've felt so relieved that the fucking Hound is an ignorant fool and doesn't know his involvement or else he'll be grilled by now."_

_Joffrey wordlessly dragged her again towards the car as he snapped at Ramsay. "Shut it, bastard! We need to run. Enough of your annoying speeches! I don't want to end up in a rotten dungeon."_

_"May I remind you that it was your fucking dog who barked? He also stole Reek from me! If your dog didn't grow a conscience then we wouldn't have to run like the coward that you are!" Ramsay snapped back._

_Joffrey cursed on the front seat as sudden gunshots were fired on their speeding car. She was trembling on the backseat as she cowered desperately._

_"Why are they firing at us? Whose firing?! We have the Stark bitch with us!" Joffrey yelled._

_"It's the Boltons!" Meryn Trant exclaimed on the driver's seat._

_"What??!!!" Joffrey shouted, enraged. "So the fucking bastard decided to double cross us when things got tense?! Drive faster and I'll shoot."_

_Everything became a blur as there were gunshots fired, a huge explosion, honking and screeching of tires as the car crashed._

 

 

She woke up with a struggling gasp with tears running down her face. She was hyperventilating and palpitating. She curled herself against the headboard as she looked around the room frantically.

"I'm safe. I'm perfectly fine." she muttered repeatedly as she shakily turn the lampshade on.

Why is this happening to her? She have that nightmare. Again. No. Not a nightmare. _A memory._ Fuck. What did she ever do to deserve this shit? And the worst part, why on earth did she woke up in the middle of the night where it's dark and she's alone? Well, she have always been alone but at least she normally wakes up in the mornings whenever she's having nightmares. This is probably the first time that she woke up in the middle of the night. Is it going to be like this from now on? It only means one thing, everything is going to get worse for her. _As if it's not bad enough._

 

She stood up from the bed as she started to pace around the room. She wiped her tears away and continued to mutter like it's some sort of a chant. She's trying to catch her breath as she shakily pour herself a glass of water from the side table. She's shaking severely that she accidentally pour the water on the carpet.

She growled out of frustration and threw everything on the wall and kicked the table harshly.

She regretted it instantly because the shattering of the glasswares triggered her fucked up memories.

The same images ran through her head. _Jeyne being skinned alive, Ramsay forcing her to watch and lie with the corpse, Joffrey striking her and playfully tried to drown her on a bathtub, the car chase, the explosion and so many gruesome images._

 

She curled up on the corner as she cried miserably and kept on repeating the mantra that she's safe.

But is she really safe? She's not a captive anymore but she still feels like she's in danger. She started to laugh hysterically. _No._ She's not safe. She will never be safe. She was and will always be a captive. She will always be a captive of that experience. She's a captive of her own memories. She continued to laugh and cry at the same time as she tried to catch her breath. Is there any way for everything to just stop? She's so exhausted. _She just wants everything to end._

 

 

Margaery

 

 _A week._ It's been a week since they found Sansa on that cliff. She haven't seen her love for the past few days and she's very worried. Sansa locked herself in her room and refuses to respond to them. The last time she went out of her room was days ago when she demanded out of nowhere to talk to Baelish and after that she resumed on shutting herself again.

 

They've been leaving food supplies and meals outside her door everyday. They've been trying to talk to her too even if all their efforts was all for naught. The only thing that stopped them from forcing their way inside the room was the mere fact that Sansa was taking their deliveries everyday discreetly. It made them calm down a little to know that at least she's eating. There are times that Sansa would not take the meals but knowing that she have some supplies inside her room, ease their worries that she's not starving herself.

 

She sat on the couch and sighed heavily. She can't sleep. Again. She's always been on edge for the past week but tonight felt really different. Something's not really right. She felt so uneasy. She grabbed the keys to Sansa's room and hesitantly walked her way towards it.

 

She's been able to stop the urge of barging her way inside the room for a week. She didn't know how long she can take it. She needs to see Sansa and make sure that she's alright. She's going to go crazy. She have no idea what Sansa was doing in there or what's running in her head.

Sansa was so lifeless the last time they saw her. Even after the talk with fucking Baelish, Sansa was still so lifeless and empty despite the fact that they saw her laughing at Baelish who looked so freaked out. What brought that on?

She also realized days ago that she even unconsciously called Sansa, well, _Sansa_ instead of Alayne at the cliff and Sansa didn't react or protest about it.

 

She sighed as she paced furiously outside the door. Sansa must be asleep now so she can take a peek, right? But there's the possibility that Sansa is still awake. Or perhaps she will accidentally wake Sansa up. That will surely make Sansa so upset. The mere fact that Sansa haven't left her room means she's not ready to deal with anyone.

 

She sighed dejectedly and was about to go back to the living room when she heard a loud crash inside Sansa's room. She felt her heart thump harshly in her chest as she whipped her head around the door with wide eyes. _Fuck._

 

She hastily opened the door without thinking and looked around the room. She felt like someone dug a spear through her heart as she saw the love of her life curled herself on the corner of the room shaking like a leaf and was laughing hysterically. Splinters scattered in one corner where Sansa obviously threw everything. The carpet also seemed wet.

 

She took quick strides and kneeled in front of Sansa. Sansa was laughing and crying at the same time while muttering something under her breath that sounded like _safe_ and _fine_.

"Sansa." she called as she shakily cupped her love's face wiping the tears away. "Look at me." she continued in a hoarse voice trying to meet her love's gaze.

She felt like someone stabbed her repeatedly as Sansa finally met her gaze and stopped laughing. Sansa's blood shot eyes was so filled with pain, terror, anxiousness, loneliness and so much more.

She instinctively hugged her with every inch of her life and whispered soothing words.

 

"I'm here." she whispered with determination and finality as she kissed her temple. She rocked her gently as she settled herself beside Sansa properly without breaking the hug.

After a while, Sansa started to calm down and breath normally. She's not sure how long they stayed like that before Sansa hugged her back and nuzzled on her neck. She run her fingers through Sansa's hair in return as they curled on the corner together.

 

"Water." Sansa tiredly croaked after a while.

She pulled back a little and looked at her earnestly. "I'll get some from the kitchen. I'll be quick." she quipped before kissing her forehead.

 

She dashed to the kitchen and grabbed a mug and a pitcher of water from the fridge with trembling hands. She closed her eyes briefly and took deep breaths. She needs to calm down. _Sansa needs her now._

 

She hastily went back to the room as she found Sansa on the same position and looked like she's going to have a panic attack again.

"Hey." she called in a small voice as she sat in front of her and poured her a glass of water.

Sansa seemed to calm down again upon seeing her and took the water wordlessly.

"Do you need anything else?" she inquired gently.

Sansa shook her head and looked at her with droopy eyes. "No. I'm tired."

"Okay. Then let's get you back to bed." she said as she put the pitcher and the mug on the floor and stood up. "Shall we?" she offered her hand and smiled.

Sansa took her hand and they walked towards the bed.

 

She tucked Sansa on the bed as she sat beside her after she grabbed the keys and locked the door.

Sansa may actually not want her presence later but she will stay no matter what. She's not going to leave after seeing Sansa's state.

"Thank you." Sansa sleepily said.

She gave her an affectionate smile. "You're always welcome, sweetling."

Sansa reached for her hand and pulled her to lay down on the bed.

"Stay." Sansa whispered before falling asleep.

She settled herself properly beside Sansa and stared at her and caress her face while she sleeps.

"Always." she whispered softly and rested her head on Sansa's shoulder and hugged her tightly as a tear slipped on her cheek.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing so please be gentle. Lol. I actually had this fic for a few weeks now and I just decided to post it. I'm more of a reader actually and I never really thought that I have what it takes to write my own. And I was like, what the hell I'll just post it even it's trashy. Lol. I hope someone would enjoy my poor attempts at writing! Happy reading!


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